Tears

By Harukami

(Author's note: What would happen if Valgarv had succeeded?)

 

After so long, his purpose had been completed.

Even the air smelled burned and he turned his head to the sky. It was a dark, angry violet, and he didn't know why. Inside him, the rivals and companions in pain were talking, quietly, tired. He was tired, too.

Ashes drifted by and stung his eyes. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered.

He'd completed his purpose and there was nothing to worry about ever again.

Was he happy?

No. Just tired. What more did he need to be?

Gods and devils... in the end, they were dead too.

~~It's over now. You can relax. Nothing more will attack you, ~~ Vorpheed told him, quietly, the words drifting him in a sweet scent of blossoms, drowning out the smell of death for an instant.

##Over,## Daguridigido agreed, shortly. Of the two, Daguridigido was more unbalanced. ##Did you know that in human form, Vorpheed's hair was scented?##

~~Shh, that's over.~~

He didn't reply to either of them. Slowly, he began to walk.

##Of course it's over. It's all over. They're all dead. And why not? WHY NOT?!##

~~Shh, no more, it's over. Let it be.~~

##I hate.##

~~It's over. Stop worrying at it.~~~

"Shut up," He said aloud. They quieted, Vorpheed complacently, Daguridigido in a very grumbling manner. "Shut up." It was needless repetition, but there were only three creatures left alive to hear him, and they all shared the same body.

~~It needed to be done, Dragon-child. It needed to be done.~~

##Killed your race, killed your master. It's OVER.##

~~It can begin again, only right, this time. So...~~

"I told you to shut up." He had done it. Ended it all. They had all deserved to die.

So why did he feel so empty? So pointless? So...

##Don't be a child.##

~~Shh, shh. He's lonely. It happens to everyone when they're one of a kind.~~

If he could have turned on them, he would have. "I'm not lonely. I've been one of a kind for a thousand years. Why would I be any more lonely now?"

~~You were never one of a kind. There were others.~~

##There were no others. You were the only one who felt as you did.##

He tilted his head up to the sky. "There were others, perhaps. But they're gone now. Life will begin again and this time people will be one and the same and won't kill each other."

##Death for life, is it, then? Sou. But I hate. You hate. We hate. Look at what they did? Even now, will it end?##

~~Peace, isn't that all we ever wanted? So long fighting, and for what? It's all pointless. It's all manipulation. Perhaps happiness...~~

"Happiness never lasts," he told them. "It is meant to be killed."

##So why, then?##

~~Why did we fight? Listen to us... we know...~~

"You know best?" He snorted and the wind caught his shoulder-length hair. "Someone always has to know best, don't they? But then why can't you answer me... was I one of a kind or not? If you can satisfy me, I will admit you know best after all."

##You were, you know. Who else could feel your pain? That's why we had to--##

~~Everyone feels pain. It's not fair, we all deserve happiness. That's why we had to--~~

"Oh, shut up." The ash on the wind was stinging his eyes. "If I was wrong, why was there so much fucking pain all the time? And if I was right, why am I so empty?"

##It happens. You'll get over it.##

~~The pain will fade...~~

"Pain never fades!" He drew in a shaking breath, the acrid air stinging his throat. "I know that. You two know that as well as I do. Pain never fades. They all felt pain before they died. I paid them back in spades, and I still hurt. Did I do right or did I do wrong? Could I ever forgive myself if I hadn't done it? Can I forgive myself that I have?"

~~You...~~

"I don't want to hear it. I made a choice, and I don't know what I am any more.~~

It must have been the smoke, too much exertion that caused it.

Nothing, not even what he was, cried tears of blood.

** Owari **

Yeah, I've got problems. Not even depressed. Just... thinking.

Fanfic