The Mazoku Picnic


Beneath the trees where nobody sees

They'll hurt and maim as long as they please

Cos that's the way the Mazoku have their piiiiiicnic!


Picnic time for Ma-zo-ku

The little Mazoku are having a lovely time today!

Watch them gaily lurk about

They love to scheme and shout

They never say aishiteiruuuuuu!

At six o'clock the Lord of Nightmares

Will take them home to bed

Because they're tired little Mazoku!


*The sun shone brightly black in the astral plane; its bluish rays bathing the wooden table set up under the rotting Tree of Life in an ethereal glow. Nearby a barbecue sizzled like the fires of Hell…*

Phibby: Not quite.

*Oh, uh, sorry.*

Phibby: *holding a Frisbee* Who exactly IS watching the barbecue anyway?

Xelas: *smoking and holding a badminton racquet* Not me. I don't cook.

Phibby: Dolphin?

Dolphin: There are dancing lizards in my pants… *giggles madly*

Xelloss: INCOMING! *whacks something with his badminton racquet*

Xelas: I got it! I got it! *whacks the object back*

Phibby: Dynast?!

Dynast: Don't look at me, I'm in charge of the drinks!

Phibby: *disgusted* You brought Kool-Aid!!

Dynast: I thought it was your favourite, shrimpy.

Phibby: *twitches* Garv?

Garv: *looks up from the potato salad he's cramming into his mouth* Eh?

Phibby: *eyeing the distended cheeks of the other Dark Lord and watching as potato salad drips from his mouth to dribble down his chin* Uh, nevermind.

Valgarv: *tenderly wipes his master's chin*

Xelloss: HEADS! *something hurtles through the air to land SMACK in Garv's massive helping of potato salad*

Garv: What the fuck…? *spears it on a fork and looks. It's a human head.* Huh. *shrugs and shovels it into his mouth with more salad*

Shaburanigdo: My wieners are burning!!!

Xelloss: *snicker* All seven?

Shabby: Shut up! Somebody get the barbecue!

*Nobody moves*

Shabby: PHIBBY! You ran Hell; you know how to work a flame! Get your ass in gear!

Phibby: *muttering* Jerk…

Dynast: Want a stool to stand on, Phibs?

Phibby: Shut up!

Dolphin: *stands up suddenly* THE COCONUT IS FALLING!!!!

Sherra: How much sugar do we add to this sludge, Master?

Dynast: *shrugs* Until we get a thick red paste I think…

Xelloss: Nice shot, Mistress!

Xelas: Stop trying to look down my shirt when I serve, Xelloss.

Garv: *chew slurp guzzle*

Val: *wipe wipe*

Shabby: Hey, waitaminute… What's that smell?

Dynast: *sniffs the air* Uhh… crab?

Shabby: CRAB?!!!

Dynast: Um, yes. Smells delicious.

Shabby: *gets that red glowing eye thing happening* PHIBREZO!

Phibby: Hey, you WANTED me to man the barbecue!

Xelloss: Surprised he could reach it…

Phibby: *ignores that* I'm just cooking what was here!

Shabby: CRAB?!!?!!

Dynast: Uh, crab is tasty sir…

Shabby: *whirls on him* I look like the freaking main course at Red Lobster and you want me to eat CRAB?! Whose idea was this? Fruitcake, I'm looking in YOUR direction!!
*innocent whistle*

Dolphin: Crab, crab, craaaaab…. Under da Sea!

Shabby: Shut up, Dolphin.

Xelloss: I vote it's time we play hide and seek… Shaburanigdo's IT!! *bolts*

Phibby: *tosses away his Frisbee and runs*

Dynast: Good idea… Come on Sherra!

Xelas: Uh, I have to use the little girl's room!

Dolphin: O Coffee Bean

It is Obscene

How your life has been

It is so demean


Shabby: All of you! GET BACK HERE!

*the Frisbee sails unnoticed to crash-land in Garv's potato-salad*

Garv: *looks at it, shrugs, and continues eating*

Val: Taste good?

Garv: *shrug and mumble*

Val: *wipes his chin again with a now very soggy tissue*

***The End***