Mission: Cross-dressing

by Harukami

Hi! It's me again! I really didn't intend to spawn this. Really. It just sorta happened. *whimper* I keep TRYING to write my angsty Yu Yu fic, but sometimes I'm in a silly mood and I need to be writing

SOMETHING! YES! This IS a crossover, [a cross-dressing cross-over?!?] but I'm not sure what's going to be in it, so I'll list the animes at the end.

All characters belong to their respective holders. I belong to myself and I'm pretty sure that Hi owns herself... but you can never tell with that one.


"You. Want. Me. To. What?" Haruka hissed out through her teeth at her manager, narrowing her eyes a little more each time.

The man shrank back, leaning away from his desk. "It's just promotion, Tenoh-san. Your fans will enjoy it. It's not anything you don't normally do..."

Haruka laughed harshly. "Let me get this straight. You want me to attend a cross-dressing show. As a participant."

"It's a charity show," the man practically whimpered.

"I don't give a damn!" Haruka shouted. "The only thing I hate more than getting hit on by guys who think they can get any girl they want is to get hit on by guys who think I'M a guy!"

Michiru put a hand on her lover's arm. "Ara, I think it could be interesting. You'd be one of the few female cross-dressers. And he's right... you DO do that normally."

"But," Haruka sputtered, then stopped as the room took on a maroon-ish glow. Her manager remained frozen and the clock had stopped.

"Ara?" Michiru murmured.

"Sailor Pluto!" Haruka exclaimed, relief evident in her voice. "Thanks for coming to get me out of this."

Pluto, floating over her head, looked amused. "I didn't."


Michiru looked vaguely alarmed. "Pluto, won't you get punished for stopping time."

"No, Neptune, because I'm here to prevent a great disaster to time itself. Uranus, you must go to this show. An old enemy, plus a new one will strike, and you must prevent this."

"Why does it have to be me?" Haruka grumbled.

Pluto smiled slightly. "Haruka, face it. You cross-dress." She disappeared and the room took on normal colours again.

Haruka scowled at the manager. "All right. I'll go."


Hi, a busty girl with long blackhair stamped another ticket, and marked another line on a sheet of paper. The people getting their tickets checked probably thought she was checking off guests on a list, but little did they realise...

"That's one hundred and two really kawaii bishounen," Hi smiled, glancing at Harukami with a glint in her eye.

Harukami rolled her eyes. "Hi..."

"Yeah, I know, I know, if it's a guy that wears a dress, he's probably not interested in girls. But they also bring their friends, who might be, so that's okay, right?"

The other girl grinned. "I'll have to tell Isamu that."

Hi paled. "You wouldn't."

"I'm sure he'd understand that since you have him for a boyfriend, you were just window-shopping."

"You are evil," Hi glared. "You know I'm not serious."

"Yes, but you look so cute when you're worried."

Harukami paused in her teasing to stamp the ticket of a blond-haired young boy wearing a very pink dress. He was followed by a very resigned guy with gigantic spiky bangs. "Thank you, sirs, and enjoy the show." She turned back to Hi. "And here I thought you were hosting this show for the good of the people."

"It IS the good of the people, but I'm one of those people."


Hi hit Harukami. "Besides, why are you here?"

Harukami whistled innocently.


Michiru tugged on Haruka's arm. "C'mon, koibito, the line's moving."


Michiru grinned. Haruka was so cute when she sulked.

They both stopped and stared when the people in front of them began to complain.

"Hey, wait a minute, Nabiki, this isn't a movie theatre," a red-haired girl began to protest. "What are you doing with that kettle? Aughh... no!!!!"

The brown haired girl dumped the hot water on the other girl, and where the red-haired girl in a blue dress had been, there now was a black-haired man in a blue dress. "Remember, Ranma, you don't really want me to show Akane those pictures, do you?"

"Nabiki," 'Ranma' grumbled, "I'm going to kill you."

"Weird," Haruka muttered as they came up to the ticket-stampers.

As they continued on into the room beyond, Michiru heard the ticket-stamping girl with short hair comment, "now, see, THAT's what *I* call kawaii..."


"OOOOOOooooh!" The blue-haired bishonen crowed, bouncing up and down on the currently empty stage. "Hey! I'm Fisheye! Look at me, look at me, look at me..." When his constant shouts drew a few eyes, he blushed. "I'm so shameless!"

A purple-haired bishonen with a beauty mark under his left eye and wearing a female Chinese outfit tugged on Fisheye's dress. "Hey, you're not supposed to be up there yet."

Fisheye sniffed. "I'm giving a speech."

The purple-haired man rolled his eyes. "The first speech isn't for another hour."

The blue-haired bishonen pouted, but it disappeared as he looked past the other man and his eyes turned to hearts. "Kawaii!"

A quick glance told the one in the Chinese outfit all he needed to know. "No way! Hotohori-sama-koi's MINE!"

Fisheye smiled evilly and launched himself into the air. Emperor Hotohori saw him and his quick reflexes made him catch Fisheye, who snuggled.

Hotohori 'meeped'. "Nuriko! Get him off me!"

The purple-haired bishounen snarled and plucked Fisheye off as if he weighed no more than a feather. He swung Fisheye around... and again... until Fisheye flew twenty feet across the room, crashing into a short man with spiky black hair and red eyes.

Nuriko's eyes went watery and he glomped onto Hotohori. "Hori-sama... I almost lost you..."

"Yes, Nuriko," Hotohori told him, "but you can hardly blame him for being stunned by my beauty."

Fisheye sat up and stared down at the person he landed on, who glared bale-fully. "Kawaii," Fisheye breathed. He was in heaven.

The small man snarled and stood up, knocking him off. Fisheye glomped. The small man knocked him away and drew a katana.

Fisheye simpered. "You wouldn't use that to hurt me, would you?"

The little man didn't answer, just moved the sword faster than the eye could see, parting the cloth and drawing a thin line of blood on Fisheye's chest.

Fisheye didn't notice the pain. "You ruined my dress! Now you're gonna..."

The other man's katana was at his throat. Fisheye stepped away and looked for someone else. Hmm! Over there was a young man with red hair who was really kawaii.

He heard the bishounen talking with the red-haired man call him 'Suka-chan' and filed the name away for future reference as he began to follow him"


Michiru chuckled lightly. "Well, Haruka, some people are... enthusiastic." She pointed out the bishounen who was backing away from the man with the katana.

Haruka looked like she'd tasted something sour. "Enthusiastic is one word." She started to turn away, but Michiru stopped her.

"Wait," the aqua-haired girl murmured. "The ocean is feeling uneasy... I get the feeling that that young man and the people with him know something about the new enemy."

The two girls inched closer to hear their conversation.

"Oi!" the black-haired one his friend called Yuusuke shouted the short one. "Hiei! Help us, would ya? I can't get Kurama to come out from under the table."

"No!" a muffled voice -- rather similar to Haruka's -- shouted from under the table. "I won't! If it was anyone else I was supposed to be bait for, fine! But not that sadist! No, no, no! He already practically killed me once."

The red-haired, homely man snickered. "C'mon, Kurama, you know this was part of his demands. Come out. 'Sides, you look good in a dress."

"Pink is not my colour, Kuwabara. And no! No matter how much you seem to think I look like one, I'm not playing a damsel in distress! Not to that... creature!"

"Stupid fox," the short one -- Hiei -- muttered. He reached down and pulled a very bishounen boy out by his collar. "I'll be here, Kurama, and so will the Reikai Tantei. It's better to fight him than let him live."

Kurama sighed and adjusted his dress. "You're right. I just wish that bastard would give it up and die!"

"Don't worry," Yuusuke laughed. "After we're through with him, he'll be so dead he'd make vultures sick."

"I hope so." Kurama looked down at himself. "But, Yuusuke, I just wish..."


"...that if you HAD to get me into one of Keiko's dresses, that you'd picked something in, well, green."


Haruka and Michiru stood to one side, talking together. "Spirit-world detectives?" Haruka quoted.

"Something's up," Michiru commented. "We must stay on our guard."


An hour passed without incident. Hi and Harukami climbed onto the stage and started their opening speech when suddenly a huge explosion knocked the front door inward. People screamed.

A young man wearing a form-fitting leather bodysuit stepped through the hole that used to be the door. He smiled behind his spidery surgical mask and tossed his long, silky mane of black hair over his shoulders. Violet eyes smirked around at the gathered crowd. "It looks like I've interrupted something."

Michiru and Haruka pulled out their henshin sticks but before they could shout their transformation lines, Yuusuke stepped forward.

"Oi! You're under arrest by the Reikai Tantei. Will you come quietly and accept your punishment or do we have to make you?" The four Reikai Tantei faced Karasu bravely.

A smile quirked behind his mask. "My darling Kurama, you look so... cute in a dress."

Hiei snarled and stepped in front of Kurama. "Ja Ou Ensatsu Ken!" He raised his katana, going into a fighting stance and tore off the ward covering his third eye.

Beside Michiru, Haruka shifted uneasily. "I don't think they're the enemy," Michiru told her quickly.

Karasu had smiled at this display. "So quick to protect my dear, Hiei? Well, gentlemen, much as I appreciate your offer, I'm afraid I must decline. I don't have time to visit the Reikai just yet. I'm only here for Kurama."

"Rose Whip!" Kurama called as he shifted to his Youko form, the only one that could possibly defeat Karasu.

"Rei Ken!" Kuwabara formed his spirit sword.

Yuusuke aimed his index finger at Karasu. "Rei Gun!" A blast of Reiki shot out, missing Karasu who had leapt into the air, his tattered cloak spreading like bat wings.

The two Sailor Senshi took advantage of this lapse. "Uranus Planet Power, Make-up!"

"Neptune Planet Power, Make-up!"

"Invited by a new age, here I am, the Sailor Senshi of the wind, Sailor Uranus, acting gorgeous!"

"Invited by a new age, here I am, the Sailor Senshi of the sea, Sailor Neptune, acting graceful!"

Karasu laughed, landing on the table. He waved a hand towards them.

"Don't move!" Kurama shouted. Uranus didn't understand, and drew her Space Sword, stepping towards Karasu. An explosion went off in her face, and she tumbled backward, setting off a few more, leaving her somewhat bloodied. If she had been properly human, she would probably have died.

"Uranus!" Neptune shouted, trying to figure out how to get to her lover's side. Deciding quickly, she leapt straight up into the air, aiming blasts from her Deep Aqua Mirror beneath her and in a path to Uranus, setting off the invisible ki bombs when there was nobody there to get injured. She landed by Uranus's side.

Karasu seemed to find this highly amusing. He started to wave his hand again, but before he could, Nuriko picked up the table with ease and tossed it over, knocking Karasu off. Hotohori drew a huge sword.

Fisheye, now in his true form, sent knives flying through the air where Karasu had stood moments before. They passed the empty space as Karasu leapt again, and were followed by bullets fired expertly by the blond man in the pink dress and the man with spiky bangs. Karasu had little time to send out ki bombs as he was constantly on the move from the many unexpected attacks.

"Space Sword Blaster!"

"Submarine Reflection!"

"Rei Gun!"

"Fuuka Enbujin!"

Karasu leapt and avoided again.

"The Hell with this!" Hi suddenly shouted. "I'm not going to let him ruin all our plans!"

Harukami nodded. "We worked too hard for this."

Hi floated into the air as she was suddenly wreathed with flame. Her hair changed from the smooth black to burning flame, and she sent out a blast of fire towards Karasu. "I am the Hi no Miko and I will not let you get away with this!"

Harukami was surrounded by a blue glow, and was clothed with black silk. Energy gathered in her hand and changed into a silver rapier. She held it up in front of her face, then pointed it toward Karasu, shooting a blue-black blast from it. "You have gone too far! I am Harukami and I will punish you!"

Hi snorted. "Everyone says that."

"Yours wasn't that original either."

Karasu landed in the middle of the room and cast a sphere of ki bombs around him, falling to his knees. "You know, if I was alone, you might actually defeat me. But as things are..." he looked up.

Above his head, a figure shimmered into existence. She was wearing a long purple dress, and had long black hair, and beautiful purple eyes. Dark wings emerged from her back, and light glinted off the gold bracers at her wrists.

"Chaos!" Uranus hissed.

She laughed clearly. "Yes, Uranus. You and the other Senshi managed to banish me before, but there was nothing you could do to prevent me from assuming a new body and gathering power again. Did you know that nearly all the Starseeds here are true?"

"Chaos!" Karasu hissed. "They're all yours, but the fox is mine, remember that."

She smiled. "Don't worry, dear boy. You can kill Kurama yourself."

"Attack!" Neptune shouted, raising her mirror. "Attack her now! Forget him, but attack before she can do anything!"

"Flame Phoenix!" Hi shouted, and a huge bird of fire emerged from her body.

"Soul Hurricane!" Harukami shouted at the same time, blue-black wind surrounding Chaos for a minute.

"Rei Gun!"

"Space Sword Blaster!"

"Deep Submerge!"

"Fuuka Enbujin!"

Hiei smiled. The little fire demon tugged at the wards around his arms, letting them fall to the ground. His arm began to glow with black fire, and his 'tattoo' raised it's head, focusing on Chaos.

"Chiksho!" Kurama swore. He grabbed at Uranus' arm. "We have to get everyone out of here!"

The other Reikai Tantei, the Suzaku Seishi, the two Outer Senshi, and the two hosts of the show began to rush all the other people out.

Chaos frowned. "What do you intend to do with that, little Youkai? I'm endlessly powerful."

Hiei's smile widened, showing fangs. "Ja. Ou. Ensatsu. KOKURYUUHA!"

Outside, everyone watched as the gigantic black dragon tore its way through the building completely destroying it, leaving little but blackened ruins. The man with the spiky bangs whistled approvingly.

Eventually, the dragon disappeared. A few minutes later, Hiei wobbled out of the blackened remains of the building and collapsed tiredly. Kurama held him tenderly.

Kuwabara stuck his head in the 'door', ignoring the likelihood of the building collapsing. "Nothing but burnt remains in there," he reported. "We must have got them."

Michiru and Haruka shared a glance. If Chaos had survived once, it very well could have survived again. And the fight had been too easy. They'd have to keep their attention honed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH!" Everyone turned at the wail, reaching for various weapons, but only to see Hi. "The collection box! For the charity! It has to have burned!"

Harukami grinned and pulled it out. "I thought that maybe I should hold on to it."


Cast in order of appearance:

Haruka and Michiru, Sailor Pluto: of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon fame

Hi no Miko and Harukami: the owner of Hi no Miko's Shrine to Kurama and Hiei and, well, me! Neither of us belong to an anime. [note: some liberties were taken with us. ie. we don't have supernatural powers. But everyone else did so I wanted some too!]

Quatre and Trowa of Gundam Wing. [so I've never seen Quatre in a dress, but he really likes pink, and, well, I can imagine him in one easily.]

Nabiki and Ranma of Ranma 1/2. [blackmail, blackmail, blackmail!]

Fisheye of Sailormoon's Dead Moon Circus. [I dunno... *I* thought he was in character...]

Nuriko and Hotohori of Fushigi Yuugi. [Nuriko KAWAII!]

Hiei of Yu Yu Hakusho. And he's not always this perky. ["Ja Ou Ensatsu Kokury..." Augh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!]

Suka and Shun from Here is Greenwood. [Shun KAWAII!]

Yuusuke, The Idiot [also known as Kuwabara] and Kurama, also from Yu Yu Hakusho. [Kurama KAWAII!] Karasu is also from YYH, but he's a baddie, so I had to mention him separately. [Karasu SADISTIC!] And nyah, I can dress him however I like! I *like* form-fitting black!

Chaos is from Sailormoon and did anyone recognise its body? Yes! It's Karla from Record of Lodoss War! [if you recognized her, you deserve an award]

E-mail me! I love getting comments!

This was written between 1:30 and 5:00 pm on Monday, the 20th of July.