Omake! To what? Dunno.


by Hotaru and Harukami (no da)


Harukami is in navy, for no real reason.
Hotaru is in purple because she's Hotaru, and for some reason, that's the colour of destruction...
Red is the colour of the authors in stereo 'cause I like red. ^_^
Other notes at the end of the ficcy!!! ONWARD, BRAVE SOULS!!!

"Eh?" Ryoga scratched his head. "I could have sworn this was the way to Furinkan High..."

"Ha!" Jinpachi crossed his arms and turned his back. "That's the last time I ask YOU for directions!"

The two boys wandered further into the bleak swampy area they'd found themselves in.

Red eyes glared down from a tree above them.

"Stupid ningens," growled a deep voice.

"Hey! I resent that, you Chibi!" A higher voice sounded. There was the sound of a fist swinging, and then a muffled scream as a tall human boy with carrot-topped hair fell out of the tree in question.

Jinpachi narrowed his eyes at the boy. "Hey, don't I know you? Weren't you one of those boys who tried to beat me an' Issei up at school?!"

"Can you handle two powerless humans by yourself, Kuwabara?" The same deep voice growled.

"Ha! A thousand of such puny foes and the great Kazuma Kuwabara would not be feLLED - Whoa!" Kuwabara shouted as he tripped on one of the trees gnarled roots.

"HA HA HA HA HA!" Another light male voice howled with laughter. "You sure were felled all right!"

"URAMESHI!!! COME DOWN HERE AND SAY THAT!!!!"

"Ano..." The boy with the bandana and red umbrella said,

"HA! REI-ga..." Shove Another boy fell from the (evidently apartment-sized) tree.

"Ano..."

"KURAMA!!!"

"Gomen ne," Kurama coughed. The boy glared up the tree.

"Ano..."

"Hm... a fitting fate for stupid ningens." The deep voice said scornfully.

"Ano..."

"URAMESHI!!! PREPARE TO DIE!!! REI KEN!"

"HA! THAT'LL BE THE DAY!!"

"WOULD YOU BOTH JUST SHUT UP!!!" The boy with the bandana said as he whacked both boys over the head with his red umbrella.

The one called "Urameshi" started to glow.

"Uh..." Jinpachi put in hurriedly. "We're just passing through."

A 7-foot tall creature jumped down from the tree. A silver fox's tail twitched behind him and his ears perked forward curiously. "You're passing through the demon world?"

"Well... that it to say... uh...." Ryouga scratched his head. "Where did you say we are, again?"

"The demon world," the fox-demon-creature told him helpfully, in the voice of 'Kurama'

"Oh. So. which way back to Furinkan High..."

"That's a long way away," Kurama told him. "You'd better get back to the human world first."

Jinpachi tapped nervously on Ryoga's shoulder. "That guy... he's got ears and tail..."

"Which way to the human world then?"

"...I think he's a demon..."

"Whatever. Which way to Furinkan High?"

Kurama sighed. "Look, there's a gate right back that way. It should take you out in the forest behind Meiou High. Ask directions there." He pointed over Ryoga's shoulder.

"Thank you." Ryouga said, then immediately began walking in the opposite direction. Ogura Jinpachi sweatdropped, SD'd, and CLAMP-ed onto Ryouga's backpack.

"NOT THAT WAY!!!"

"Shh! I'm trying to concentrate!"

"Demon World! What part of that don't you understand??!?"

"Must get...to...Furinkan High..."

"If I die, Issei'll KILL me!!!" Jinpachi wailed.

A derisive snort sounded behind them. A small body blurred into view on the path before Ryoga. "If you go that way you'll get killed, ningen."

"Is that a challenge?!?" Ryoga's battle aura began to shine around them.

Hiei snorted again. "You should know better."

"Hiei-kun, go easy on him!" Kurama shouted.

"Stupid fox."

Jinpachi stood up, finally giving ito his confusion. "WHAT ARE YOU PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT?!?"

"Not now, Ogura. I've had a challenge. PREPARE TO FIGHT!" He held the umbrella up.

"ISSEI IS GOING TO KILL ME!!!"

"Hn!" The short man glared. The white bandana on his forehead suddenly burned away in purple fire, and a large purple eye opened on his forehead. The demon grinned, revealing sharply pointed fangs. "Boo." Ryouga grinned, showing off yet another set of pointed fangs.

Jinpachi backed away slowly, then bumped into the fox-demon. "KYAA?!?"

The demon looked at him strangely. "First time here?"

"I want to go home...." Jinpachi wailed.

Hiei turned. "What a fool."

Ryoga took the opportunity to lunge at him with his umbrella. However, when Ryoga finished the atack, his umbrella fell into five equal parts, and the demon sheathed his katana.

"Wha?" Ryoga stared at the remains of his umbrella. "At least it isn't raining..."

CRASH THUNDER BOOM... Rain began to fall.

"OH SHI... bweee! Bwee bwee bwee!"

"LUNCH!" Hiei declared, pulling out the katana once more. He cut at the poor pig who ran 'bweeing' loudly. Hiei hit the dirt as the pig dodged.

"He...he... he turned into a PIG!!!" Jinpachi felt the oncomings of a nervous breakdown.

"So?" Asked the demon called Kurama.

Jinpachi sweatdropped as the small black demon continued to chase the pig with his sword. "Er..."

"LUNCH! LUNCH LUNCH LUNCH!"

"Shishkabob?" Urameshi added helpfully. "I'll start a fire..."

"URAMESHI! Let's invite Yukina-chan and Keiko-chan, alright?"

Hiei skidded to a halt and turned to glare at the human. "NAN DA TO?!"

Kuwabara giggled nervously. "Uh... that is to say... I'm sure she'd love to have some shish-ka-bobed pig, right, Hiei?" Hiei stared at the ningen.

"Right," and began to advance toward Kuwabara silently, sword still out. The pig turned and began 'bweeing' towards Jinpachi. Hiei glanced at the pig. "I'm not finished with you, pig."

"Bwweeeee!"

"Now, now, Hiei. No eating our guests."

Light gleamed ferally in Hiei's three eyes. "He challenged me. He's gone down from 'guest' to 'victim'."

"BWEEE!" Kurama glanced down at the pig, then procured a kettle of hot water out from thin air, then poured it on the pig. It instantly transformed into a (nude) boy, at whom Kurama tossed Ryoga his pair of black pants and yellow shirt.

"KURAMA!!!" Hiei shouted.

"Yes?"

"He was my lunch..."

Yuusuke laughed nervously. Kuwabara sweatdropped. Jinpachi face-vaulted to the ground and lay there, twitching nervously. "WELL," Hiei said to Ryoga, "I'm NOT gving up THAT easily..."

Kurama started to rhyme in a singsong voice. "This little piggy went to the Makai... this little piggy stayed home, this little piggy... damn, I can't think of anything..."

Jinpachi twitched.

"HEY!" Ryoga shouted in an indignant voice, "WHO ARE YOU CALLING APIG?!?" Ryoga raised his pinky to the nearest tree, where Hiei was standing. "BAKASAI TENKETSU!!!" There was a sound of displacing air as Hiei darted aside, then the sound of wood shartering into thousands of splinters. Almost immediately, people began tumbling out.

"GIVE ME BACK MY SAKE!!" Chuu shouted at Shayla Shayla.

"IT'S MINE!!!" She protested.

"Now now, kids." Mr. Fujisawa said, trying to grab the bottle of sake from Shayla Shalya, "I'm the teacher here, and you're BOTH underaged!"

"I'M OVER A THOUSAND, YOU BAKAYAROU!" Chuu roared and shifting around Furjisawa.

"OH, YEAH?!" Shayla Shayla grabbed the bottle and ran off into the distance. The others followed close behind.

"Pickles... must have pickles..." Kirin wandered away, seeing as they had none.

"TA DAAAA!" A blond girl with her hair in a bow popped up. "Here, Prince, try my home-made pickles!" She chased after and people could see the prince try and fall to the ground, convulsing, in the distance.

An SD of a blond man in a shogun's outfit fell out of the tree and scampered away, shouting "DAAAAA!" A non-SD of the same person followed close behind, with 50 or so guards following.

"FETCH THE CHIBI SHOGUN!" They shouted in unison, kicking up a cloud of dust as they went by.

Ryoga's eye twitched. "Uh...."

SD Harukami and SD Hotaru (who waved an SD Silence GLaive menacingly) landed, bounced up and down a few times on Jinpachi's stomach, then blew little SD raspberries. "That's what you get for being mean to Issei!"

"Wh... what do you mean? I've never been mean to Issei... he's my best friend!"

"JERK!" Harukami shouted, kicking his stomach again, quickly followed by Hotaru, who did the same.

"I think our work here is done," Hotaru said, giving a little 'victory!' sign.

"Right you say, kiddo!" Harukami agreed, patting Hotaru on the head.

"HEY! Not the head! NOT THE HEAD! Did you hear me, Haruka-poppa? NOT THE HEAD!!!"

"Hai, hai," Harukami dismissed it. "But our self-insert is getting too long... off we go!" They followed the crowd of anime characters.

"Ano..." said Yuusuke, Kuwabara, Ryoga, Hiei, and Kurama in unison.

"WHAT did I do to Issei?" Jinpachi just muttered.

"FIGURE IT OUT!!!" Two ominous voices thundred from the skies.

"Uh... yes ma'am's..." The two authors sweatdropped.

"Harukami..."

"Yes, Hotaru?"

"I think we need some more help on this."

"And I know JUST the people to call in..."


Scene switches to Sakura's home.

"Shusaran..."

Sakura looked around her bedroom.

"Uh... Enju?"

"No... we are... THE AUTHORS!"

"Okay." Sakura didn't seem overly suprised by this. "You're here about Issei, right?"

"How did you know?"

"I have sources," Sakura said, not turning to look at her green-haired guest who had hidden in the shadows.

"Uh... okay." Harukami turned to Hotaru. "Did we give her any sources?"

"I didn't."

"Oh...." Harukami blinked. "Well, never mind then." Harukami turned her attention to Sakura. "You know what we are here about. We need a general. We've even got this nifty general's outfit for you, if you will head our cause."

"NAKAGO-SAMA!!!" screamed hoardes of Nakago fans as they chased a streaking Nakago down the street. Hotaru coughed.

"Don't ask."

Sakura sweatdropped. "Um, okay. What do you want me to do?"

"We need..." Harukami said dramatically... "RECRUITS!!"

[insert William Tell music here]

Sakura blinked, then saw an image of herself on a black warhorse.

"I'm in."


Scene switches to a tavern, to a table with plates stacked the ceiling

"Ah," a short, red-haired girl burped. "That feels wonderful!"

Suddenly her attention, along witht he rest of her companions, a chimera, a little girl, a tall blond swordsman (who was prettier than the redhead), and a black haired girl gazing adoringly at the blond bishounen, was drawn to the door way.

An old enemy, Rezo the Red Priest threw the door open.

"Not another one," Zelgadis moaned, burying his face in his soup.

Fortunately for our sanity, the Red Priest met his untimely doom (again) at the hands of a teenage girl wearing a shogun's outfit.

["NAKAGO-SAMA!!!" Screamed the hoards of fan girls (and a few boys) as the Kutou General streaked by again]

The girl pushed Rezo aside, and he accidentally slipped on a plate and broke his neck. Sakura didn't notice.

"OK!!! WHICH ONE OF YOU IS AMELIA?!?"

"Ah..." The little girl raised a hand. "Me?"

"GOOD! I HAVE A MISSION FOR YOU TO HELP ALONG SOMEONE IN NEED!"

"But I'm really needed right here..." Amelia protested.

Zelgadis finally relaxed. "It's for the cause of justice, I can see, but if you don't want to accept it..."

"JUSTICE?!?" Amelia jumped up excitedly. "YOU DIDN'T SAY!!! LET'S GO, SHOGUN-sir-ma'am!"


Scene switches to a luscious green country, filled with forests and mountains in the sky

"Alright. Where am I now?" Sakura asked the sky. However, the authors were out on caffine-break, and did not reply. Sakura suddenly heard movement from a bush, and drew Nakago's sword.

["NAKAGO-SAMA!!!"]

"Who's there?!"

"Pu!!!!" A little white rabbit jumped out. "PUUUU!!!" Sakura sweatdropped.

"Uh... pu to you to."

"Pu!"

"Hey," Sakura smiled, "You're kind of cute!"

"PUUU!!!!" The little white rabbit jumped around Sakura once, then hopped off into the forest.

"SAKURA!!!" shouted two voices from the sky. The authors had returned from their caffine break.

"Uh, yes?"

"AFTER THAT THING!"

Sakura sweatdropped. "What do you mean?!"

"That rabbit is the next recruit! GET HIM!!!"

"Oro..." Sakura muttered, then began chasing after the rabbit. "GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE MARSHMELLOW!!!"

"Hotaru-chan..." Harukami whispered to the other author. "You do realize we're causing poor Sakura to gather hoardes of unbearable cuteness, right? We'll probably drive Jinpachi insane..."

"Yeah, well." Hotaru shrugged, then turned back to Sakura. "He deserves either or."

"You're right."

"GO SAKURA!!!" they both began to cheer, pulling out little fans. "WE'RE ROOTING FOR YOU!"


Scene shifts to Konan Imperial Palace

"KYAAA!" Nuriko jumped backwards as Sakura appeared with a pop, still wearing Nakago's outfit.

["NAKAGO-SAMA!!!" Nakago ran past his worst enemies, nude. ]

Chichiri stuck his head into Nuriko's room. "Nuriko, no da? Was it just me or did the shogun of Kutou just run past nude no da?"

"Not now!" Nuriko growled.

"Fine no da!" Chichiri left.

"What do you want?" Nuriko demanded of the strange girl.

"Well, I'm sorry miss, but I need your help in getting someone to fall in love... it's this poor man, well, girl really reborn as a man, but he is desperately in love with this other man who completely doesn't pay any attention, and he's hurting so bad..."

Nuriko's eyes were trembling and he clutched at his heart. "I understand how he feels... OF COURSE I'LL HELP!!!!"


scene changes to a restaurant in Nerima.

"Look, I charge 1000 yen an hour, no less."

"THAT'S ROBBERY!" Sakura shouted, nearly ready to strangle the girl.

"Listen, the longer we talk, the higher my prices are going to go."

"But... but... It's true love! Even if Jinpachi doesn't realize it yet! And more importantly..."

"Oh?" Nabiki said, raising her eyebrow, "And what's more important then true love?" Sakura's head dropped.

"I...I can't afford it."

"Ah. The truth comes out at last." Nabiki put down her spoon. "All right, I'll cut you a deal."

"Yes?" Sakura looked up hopefully.

"You tell all those girls that keep running across the restaurant window, chasing that nude guy, that they have to pay me 100 yen for every street, and I'll consider it."

"YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A DEAL!" Sakura took Nabiki Tendo's hands and shook them virgorously.

"Great," Nabiki said, in the same cynical tone. "Now, buy me a sundae. Extra hot fudge, if you please."


scene switches to a good-sized house in Juuban

Sakura looked down at her outfit, realizing it wasn't appropriate wear for downtown Tokyo.

["NAKAGO-SAMA!!! WE LOVE YOU!!!"]

She pulled her cloak tighter around her and rang the doorbell.

"Yes?" A purple haired woman answered it.

"Uh... Hi. I'm looking for Tsukino Usagi and Chibi-Chibi..." Sakura waved and her armour fell into view.

The woman didn't seem to notice anything odd. "Oh, you must be one of Usagi's friends. Her room's at the top of the stairs."

"Oh... ok..." Sakura said uncertainly. She walked upstairs and pushed open the door.

"Who are you ?!?" The blond -haired girl demanded, grabbing at her broach. A little 3-year-old ran out from behind her.

"Chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi!"

"Uh... same to you... I'm here on a mission of true love!" I'm beginning to sound so corny, Sakura thought to herself, but it was worth it to see the gleam of delight in the rabbit-haired girl's eyes.

"Love?"

"Chibi chibi love?"

"Ano... yeah... I kinda need your help for this poor boy who's in love with another man who refuses to see..."

"That's soooo sweet, but maybe you'd better talk to Haruka-san and Michiru-san!"

A tall blond woman slammed open the door. "Odango Atama, I sense an alien presence... " she stuttered to a halt as the two girls turned to look at her with determination.

"You wouldn't be 'Haruka' by any chance, would you?!?" Sakura said, advancing.

"Ano... MICHIRU!!!!"

Sakura grabbed her arm. "I need your help."

"That's nice... er... but I'm sort of busy..."

"Haruka-san," Usagi said. "As your princess I say this is exactly the thing you need to help! True love!"

"Thanks, but I've already got someone..."

"NO, NOT YOU! THAT POOR BOY!!!"

"What poor boy?" Haruka asked, overwhelmed.

"Chibi chibi chibi!"

"GET MICHIRU!" Usagi shouted, pulling out the luna pen. "LUNA PEN, MAKE ME INTO A COMMANDING GENERAL TYPE!" She, also, was suddenly wearing a set of Nakago's duds.

Haruka nodded uncertainly and talked into her communicator. "Michiru... help... now... Usagi's house..."

Suddenly, Neptune jumped in through the window. "I was watching... not that I was following you itoshii, I trust you around Usagi, really... and I think it's a WONDERFUL idea to help that poor, misunderstood young man!"

Haruka sighed and gave in. "Whatever you say, Michiru."


meanwhile, in the Makai....

"EN GARDE!" Ryoga shouted, picking up the handle of his shredded umbrella from the ground. The rain had long since stopped, and Ryoga was no longer in a mood to tolerate being called 'lunch'. Hiei grinned evilly.

"Lunch." he said, advancing a step.

"No! Get away from me! Stop calling me that!"

"Lunch."

"Ano, Hiei... it's not polite to play with your food..." Kurama smiled.

"I AM NOT LUNCH!" Ryoga delcared.

"Give me a few minutes..." Hiei said. Jinpachi blinked, looking over at them.

"Would you two cut it out? I'm TRYING to think!"

"Hun?" Ryoga and Hiei said in unison.

"I mean... what did I do to Issei? He said it was just a joke, right? And why would he lie? Now I'm all confused..."

Ryoga sweatdropped. "Listen, I don't know what you're talking about, but..."

"But?"

"For interrupting me in a battle... I CHALLENGE YOU!!!"

"HUN?!?"

"Lunch!" Hiei swung his katana, then appeared above Ryoga, dropping down to him. However, Ryoga stepped slightly sideways, and the flat of the blade only struck his head, so no damage was done. Jinpachi blinked.

"I still want to go home..."

"There there," Kurama said, patting him on the shoulder, as the sound of battle resumed.

"HOLD IT!!!" A loud voice sounded from up another one of the trees.

"Hun?" Everyone said.

"On behalf of the cause of Justice, I, AMELIA WIL TESSLA SEIRYUNN, will never forgive your cruelty, and the pain you have caused to a man in true love! Prepare to be punished!!!" With that, the girl flung herself off the branch, preparing to land on the ground standing, However, her ankle caught a branch, and she fell to the ground in front of Hiei's feet.

"Oi. Oi. Oi." Said Gourry, appearing out of nowhere to poke her with a twig.

"I'M NOT FINISHED YET!" Amelia said, doing five backflips before she tripped on a stone and fell again. "Owie..."

"Why don't you just go home, kid?" Yuusuke said, helping her up.

"BUT I'M HERE TO HELP JUSTICE!" Amelia wailed.

"Whatever. Just go - " Yuusuke began. However, he was cut short by the sound of a giant mecha stomping down on one of the nearby trees. A large speaker from the mecha sounded.

"ALRIGHT, JINPACHI!" A voice called out, "THIS IS IT!"

"Sakura?" Jinpachi nearly cried. "At last, someone I know!"

The hatch opened and Sakura jumped out, in her full Nakago armour.

[Nakago ran past nudies]

"Hey, who gave you the right to take my Gundam?" A male voice demanded from inside. "I, Chang Wufei... wait, did somebody mention JUSTICE?!?"

"YES!" Sakura shouted in triumph. "Justice of true love between a poor boy and a currently oblivious young idiot... NOT MENTIONING ANY NAMES, JINPACHI!!!"

"What's she talking about?" Jinpachi asked the world in general.

"Wait a minute... two guys?" Wufei asked.

"Uh huh!"

"Sorry, get enough of that at home..." He turned the gundam around, and it vanished, leaving Sakura to fall to the ground, where Kuwabara, always one to help a maiden in distess, more-or-less caught her.

"Sakura!!!" Jinpachi yelled, running up and hugging her. "SAVE ME!!!" Sakura shook her head.

"Sorry, Gyokuran, but that's not why I'm here." Sakura turned to the small army she had assembled. "Alright, troops, this is it! Fall in!" The band immediately lined up. "YOU," she said, turning to Jinpachi, who sweatdropped, "SIT."

Jinpachi sat.

"Nabiki Tendo! FORWARD!" Nabiki stepped up to Jinpachi.

"Alright. This is the long and the short of it - I'm making a good 1700 yen an hour to do this, so you sit and be quiet, okay?" Jinpachi gulped. "Good. Now, there's a certain someone..."

"This is about Issei again, isn't it?"

"Yes..." Nabiki drawed out.

"Oh."

"Now, do you know how he feels about you?"

Jinpachi brightened. "Yeah. He's my best friend!" Nabiki sweatdropped.

"Uh, sure. Now, you see, he L-"

"Likes me as a friend!

"No no no no. You see, he's been in L-"

"Little Leauge with me!"

"NO! Will you just shut up!"

"But he WAS in Little Leauge with me!"

"BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT!"

"Then what is?"

"You see, ever since you were on that moon, he's been in L-"

"Lamentation over our deaths! I KNOW!!!" Jinpachi stood up, righteous fire burning behind him. "SO THAT'S WHAT'S BEEN WRONG! I'll go talk to him right away!" [The point dives at Jinpachi and MISSES by a good ten feet!] Nabiki sighed, then turned to Sakura.

"Sorry, but my prices go up expoentially to do the impossible. You're on your own." With that, Nabiki turned to the legendary thief, Kurama, and began discussing buisness propositions.

Mokona hopped forward. "Pu pu puuuu... pu pu..glk..."

Hiei raised his sword, the Creator of Cefiro impaled on it. "LUNCH!" He declared happily and started munching.

Sakura face-faulted. "You... ate Mokona... raw too... oh dear. Haruka and Michiru, your turn."

"All right, you," Haruka said, placing a glowing space sword at Jinpachi's throat. "Listen up."

Michiru put her arm around Jinpachi's shoulders. "We really want to help you, you know, so it would be best if you'd be helpful."

"Er..." Jinpachi blushed.

"Ok," Haruka said, waving her sword for emphasis. "You've been a real bastard to someone who cares a lot about you!"

"I know, but Mokuren wouldn't understand that Rin isn't right for her, so I had to do SOMETHING!"

Michiru sighed. "No, she's not talking about Mokuren."

"THAT's A GIRL?!?"

Haruka steadfastly ignored him. "I'm talking about your so-called best friend Issei."

"THAT CAN'T BE A GIRL!!!"

Michiru sweatdropped. "That's not an issue right now. You see, you've not been very caring to Issei."

"Well, of course I have! He's my best friend!"

"LOOK YOU!" Haruka shouted. "YOU'VE LEFT HIM IN SUCH PAIN..."

"Hey... you know... Michiru was it?... you look a bit like Mokuren..."

"Ara..."

"Really pretty..." Jinpachi blushed at her.

Haruka growled, grabbed Michiru and stalked back to Usagi. "I tried. You can't say I didn't try. I bloody tried and your chances of making him understand might involve the bloody GINZHUISHU!! SO I'VE HAD ENOUGH!!!"

"Tsukino Usagi, I guess it makes it your turn!"

"RIGHT!" Usagi marched up to Jinpachi. "I'm going to heal you, so you'll never be this dense again! It is for the sake of LOVE! Ginzhuishou, please heal this poor idiot of his stupidity!!!" The Silver Crystal began to shine brightly.

"Ohh... sparkly...." Jinpachi said as he watched the Silver Crystal. White waves of healing energy began to fall on him. He sneezed.

"I've always been allergic to the Moon... Mokuren kept trying to get me to go outside, but..." Usagi face vaulted.

"You... you CAN'T be allergic to the ginzhuishou! It just doesn't WORK like that!"

Jinpachi rubbed his nose. "Speak for yourself. Can I go now?!"

Sakura sceamed out of sheer frustration. "ALL RIGHT, NURIKO.... DO YOUR BEST, and if it doesn't work..." she let her words hang in the air, "HURT him."

"RIGHT!!!" Nuriko exclaimed, pushed up the sleeves of his dress, and marched over to Jinpachi. He grabbed the boy by the front of his shirt. "CAN'T YOU SEE YOU'RE KILLING THAT POOR BOY!!!" His head grew really large, and his eyes trembled. "My own love refuses to see the light, and I'm left so painfully alone..."

"There there," Jinpachi said, patting Nuriko on the back.

"BUT THIS ISN'T ABOUT ME!!! IT'S ABOUT YOU AND ISSEI!!!"

"What about Issei? He's my best friend you know."

"YOu..." Nuriko began to strangle Jinpachi and all the forces of Sakura attempted to pry him off.

"IF you kill him Issei'll NEVER get him!"

"HMPH!" Nuriko turned his nose off and stalked off. "You have offended the delicate sensabilities of a lady!" was his parting shot.

"Looks like it's up to you, Amelia," Sakura told her.

"Ah... alright." Amelia rolled up her sleeves, impersonating the beautiful woman who had just left. "My name is Amelia Wil Tessla Sei-"

"You've said that already," Jinpachi said, finally beginning to get bored.

"Have I?"

"Yup."

"Oh. Well, permit me to say it again-"

"NO!" Everyone shouted.

"Aw, but I WANT to!"

"Amelia!" Sakura shouted, "Just get on with it!"

"ALRIGHT! On behalf of love and justice..."

"That's MY line!" Usagi protested. "WHY DOES EVERYBODY USE IT? Why not Rei's? Why not go up to him and say, 'I am Amelia of the Red High Heels?!'?"

"Because I don't WEAR high heels!"

"Oh. Okay. Go ahead then! Scene 1, Take Two: Amelia and the Idiot, by director Sakura... what did you say your last name was?"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER!!!" Sakura screamed at the blond odango-atama. Usagi went off sniffling.

"Here I go, then.

"Forces of love,
Who dwells within our deepest souls,
Come now to the fore to make this idiot see what he's missing!
LOVE EXPLOSION!"

(The Yu Yu theme plays in the background.)

"CUT IT OUT!" Kuwabara and Sakura shouted in unison. "Really," Kuwabara mutters, "You think she could tell the difference between 'Smile Explosion' and 'Lov'... whoah..." Kuwabara finished lightly as Amelia's spell passed over Jinpachi, (Idiot # 1,) and hit Kuwabara. (Idiot # 2.)

"Oi!" Yusuke said, worried at his friend. "You ok?"

Kuwabara turned to face Yusuke. "Urameshi..."

"He's ok!" Yusuke yelled.

"Urameshi... I love you..."

"HUH?!?" Yusuke scrambled backwards.

"I love you... your hair is like the deepest raven wing... your eyes like... well, I'll think of something..."

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!" Yusuke turned to find his home territory in the Makai.

"No... Urameshi, don't run from love!" Kuwabara chased after.

Sakura turned to face a shocked Amelia. "You MISSED! I can't believe you MISSED!!!"

"IT didn't miss! It hit the idiot!"

"NOT THAT IDIOT!"

Amelia blushed and looked at the ground. "Well, I'll try again."

Sakura pounced on her. "I DO NOT THINK SO...." Sakura turned back to her troops. "Alright, who's left?!"

"Uh... Miss Sakura-san?" Usagi said.

"Yes?"

"You've already gone through ALL the troops..."

"WHAT?! That's it?" Usagi nodded to Sakura, who turned angrily at Jinpachi. "YOU ARE SUCH AN IDIOT!!!"

"What did I do?" Jinpachi looked innocently confused.

"You... you... YOU'RE TOO STUPID TO FIGURE OUT ANYTHING, AREN'T YOU?"

"You keep saying I'm stupid, but that doesn't help me!"

"You are such a-"

A blond man appeared between the two of them. "I'm, uh, totally lost at this point, so...."

"Who are you?"

"Me?" The blond man put a hand behind his head and laughed. "Well, I, uh, I'm Gourry Gabriev, a wandering swordsman... last time I checked."

Sakura turned on him, eyes bloodshot. "Do you speak 'Stupid'?"

"Well... they tell me I do..."

"GOOD! TALK TO THIS GUY!"

"Uh...ok.. hi..."

"About ISSEI!"

Gourry turned, confused. "Who's Issei?"

(Harukami inserts various expletives into the previous sentance, but Hotaru does her best to leave them out...)

(Hey! It's my @#(@&$ turn at the @(#&@( keyboard you (@)&@$ hog!)

(WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HOG?!?!?!)

(NEVER INHALE COKE WHILE LAUGHING!!!)

(This has been a message brought to you by the letter H, for Harukami and Hotaru!)

(And I would just like to say that when Harukami says 'inhale coke' she's talking about the caffinated beverage... watch Harukami as she goes in hysterics over what she said...)

(What did you think they'd think... uh, anyway, now back to our regularly scheduled fanfic... sorta I guess... hides Hikari no Ken behind her back)

Gourry sweatdrops and grabs his sword back from Harukami, "Really," he mutters, "You're just like Lina..."

(Harukami: Oh yeah?!? FIREBALL!)

Little ashen Gourry coughs a few times, then nods. "I rest my case... uh, anyways, you."

"Jinpachi."

"Yeah. Gourry."

"Got it."

"'Kay."

"Great."

"So what do you wanna talk about?"

"Dunno. What do YOU wanna talk about?"

"Like...uh....what do YOU want to talk about?"

"Dunno. How about... like... Little Leagues?"

"What's a 'Little League?'"

"It's this sport thing where you hit a ball with a stick."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"So, what about Little Leagues?"

"Uh... I forget."

Sakura steamed. "YOU ARE BOTH IDIOTS!"

"Yeah, so?" They said in unison.

"AAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGHH!" Sakura turned to Amelia. "Amelia! Got a spell to make them smarter?!?"

"Sorry... I wrote Gourry off as a lost cause years ago."

"aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAA..." There was a thump [Hotaru: THUMP!] as a chimera landed on Gourry.

"Uh... Hey... Zelgadis! What're YOU doing here?"

(Harukami: Here as in in the makai, the fic, or on top of Gourry?)

(Hotaru: THE MAKAI, Harukami, THE MAKAI!!! But why IS he here?)

Zelgadis chose to answer the weird ghostly voices. "Lina. Mad. Fireball..."

(Harukami: Course, the real reason is Taru's a fan of Zel/Gou slashes... coughs as Hotaru begins to strangle her)

(AM NOT!!!)

(ARE TOO!!!)

(GOURRY'S TOO DENSE TO BE IN A WORKING RELATIONSHIP!!! AM NOT NOT NOT!!!)

(TELL THAT TO LINA!!! TOO TOO TOO!)

(Lina and Gourry... they'd be cute...)

(SINCE WHEN?!?! LAST I KNEW YOU WERE GOING ON ABOUT THE ZEL DOLL IN GOURRY'S BRA!)

(Hey, I am NOT the one who downloaded that IMAGE. HARUKAMI!!!)

(NO, BUT YOU INSISTED ON GOING FRAME BY FRAME ON TV!)

(Gourry's too dense. But if I had a choice, I would put him with Zel, or Lina. But NOT:
-Amelia
-Phil
-Filia
-Rezo
-Zangulus
-Vrumugun
-XELLOS
-Shabranigdo
ALRIGHT?!?! This isn't story related!)

(Ok. Now that that's clear.)

Gourry was blushing REALLY brightly. "ANO!!!"

(Hotaru blushes. "You didn't hear any of that. UNDERSTAND?!")

Gourry's eyes went blank... well, blanker than normal.

Zelgadis scratched his head with a gloved hand. "What is going on?"

"Uh.. can you get off me first?" Gourry whispered.

Amelia runs over to the two of them. "ZELGADIS! Get up right now! OR else!!!"

"What's IS going on?"

"It's... it's awful!" Amelia whined.

"Excuse me?"

(Harukami: I didn't think it was that bad. Ow. Ow. Ow. Taru, STOP that!)

"Get up and I'll tell you!"

"Excuse me? OH!" Zelgadis leapt off of Gourry, blue skin turning red. "So, who are those people?"

"They're the AUTHORS!" Amelia wailed, horrified at what they were writing.

"Oh... so that explains it," Zel murmured under his breath.

"EXPLAINS WHAT?!??"

"Nan demo."

Gourry and Ryoga, who had decided to see what was going on, turned to each other, nodded, then turned back to Sakura. "We're both totally lost at this point, so..."

Sakura broke down and sobbed. A little girl with pink hair rubbed her leg.

"Chibi?"

"Hello, there. That's my armor, you know. Not my leg."

[NAKAGO-SAMA!!! the troops all paused to watch the crowd chase Nakago, who was beginning to run out of energy]

"Chibi chibi chibi..."

"Wierd." Ryoga said decisively.

"CHIBI!"

"Yeah." Jinpachi nods.

Sakura's eyes brightened. "Wait, you're an idiot, right? And you can understand this kid?"

"Well, it's perfectly clear what she's saying. She asked why the sadistic blond guy keeps running by, and why you bothered to steal his armor."

"You got all that out of 'chibi'?"

"Well, yeah."

"CHIBI chibi chibi chibi CHIBI chibi!"

"What did she say?"

"'He's right.'"

"But she went on and on!"

"She stuttered."

"Okay," Sakura said, kneeling down to look face-to-face to Chibi Chibi. "I need you to explain to this idiot about Issei. Do you know Issei?"

"Chibi!"

"I'm going to go off on a limb here and guess that meant 'yes'."

"Chibi..."

"OK!" Sakura pulled Nakago's cape tighter around her confidently.

["NAKAGO-SAMA!!!" shouted a crowd of people, dust storms following them. Just ahead of them ran two twin Nakago's, one dressed, one less so.

"How did you get me to do this na no da?!" Shouted the one (dressed) Nakago to the other.

"Only way in our series you'll get chased by a bunch of girls!"

"And boys na no da."

"KEEP RUNNING!"]

Chibi Chibi toddled over and sat in Jinpachi's lap. "Chibi Chibi CHIBI chibi chibi CHIBI chibi!"

"Uh huh," Jinpachi commented.

"Chibi. Chibi chibi Chibi. CHIBI! Chibi. Chibi."

"Oh."

"Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi . Chibi Chibi . Chibi . Chibi Chibi Chibi Chibi ."

Jinpachi slapped his head. "OH! I can't beleive I didn't see that! I thought he was joking when he kissed me! And then he kept away from school for so long... I've been so stupid!"

Everyone fell over.

(Harukami and Hotaru began applauding, cheering, toasting each other. "WE DID IT! WE DID IT! YATTA!)

(YEEEEESSS! Hotaru is quite happy at this point...)

(SD Lina Inverse pops out of nowhere, just to say "Vi-C-To-Ry!!!")

Jinpachi grabbed Kurama, who was still standing around,watching, amused. "YOU SAID THAT THERE'S A GATE BACK HOME AROUND HERE?!"

"Yes." Kurama said, somehow relaxed. He turned and nodded to Hiei, who was SD-ed, and munching on Mokona. "Why not get Hiei to take you?"

"RIGHT!"

Hiei looked at Jinpachi and gave him a foul glare. "I'm busy."

Ryoga grabbed Jinpachi's arm. "Come on! Let's go!"

"Oh no. There is NO WAY I'm going off with YOU again, mister I can't tell the difference between the nearest convinence store and the MAKAI!!!"

"THEY LOOKED THE SAME, OK?!?"

Yuusuke ran by. "HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Kuwabara followed close behind. "URAMESHI! MY LOVE! MY ONE AND ONLY! DON'T RUN AWAY!!!"

"Excuse me," said Zelgadis, who turned to the carrot-topped man. "We're trying to figure out how to get back here, okay?! BURST RONDO!" The orange globes erupted forth from Zel's hand and Kuwabara fell unconcious on the ground. Yuusuke pulled himself to a stop and ran over to Zel.

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU..."

"Uh... excuse me?"

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!"

"Excuse me?"

Yuusuke bowed again. "You're sort of really a nice guy!"

"SORT OF?!?"

Amelia's eyes sparkled, seeing the how wonderful her Zelgadis was. "You're so wonderful, Zelgadis-san! I just can't resist any longer!

"Forces of love,
Who dwells within our deepest souls,
Come now to the fore to make this idiot see what he's missing!
LOVE EXPLOSION!"

(note: Hotaru-chan would like to comment that Harukami is the one writing this scene, not her. Blame it on the 'Ruka.)

Zelgadis's eyes widened as he realised what that dispicable little girl was doing ... casting a LOVE spell on him! He was frozen in terror as a pink heart flew towards him (Deer Caught-In-Headlights...)... and over his shoulder to hit someone behind him. Slowly, very slowly, he turned.

"Uh... uh..." Confused, Gourry blinked a few times. "Zel..."

Zelgadis's skin turned even bluer with horror. (Oh, sure, like we believe that.)

"Your skin is like a summer's sky... your eyes... well, I'll think of something! Zelly!"

Zelgadis began to slowly back away. "Wh... what did you call me?"

"Oh, Zelly..." Hearts shone in Gourry's eyes. "I love you!"

Chariots of Fire begins playing and Zelgadis turns in slow motion "Noooooooo..." he began to run (still slow motion). He began to fly, "Raaaayy-wiiiing!"

"Zelllllllyyyy..." Getting over his fear of heights for his love, Gourry leaps and CLAMPs on to Zelgadis's leg, as they headed off together into parts unknown.

Floating back on the wind was Zelgadis's (or Tamahome's or Heero's but probably Zelgadis's) voice. "Ameeeliaaaa... you'RE DEAAAAD MEEEEAAATT!!!!"

(And now Hotaru-chan is just as responsible for happenings as Harukami)

"TAKE ME HOME!" Jinpachi wailed, clutching at Yuusuke. "I'VE GOTTA TALK TO ISSEI!"

Yuusuke sweatdropped at him. "Uh... yeah. Okay."

Sakura smiled. "Well. I guess my work here is done." Wiping imaginary dust off of her shogun's outfit, she followed.

["NAKAGO-SAMA!" The hoards of fangirls and a few fanboys screamed as they followed Nakago and 'Nakago'.

"Ok, you understand?" Nakago (nude) said to Nakago (clothed).

"Hai no da!"

"SPLIT UP!"

Nakago (the real one) and Nakago (the secretly Suzaku one) split, Nakago going left, Nakago na no da going right.

Only for a second did the adoring public pause, before they all simultaneously turned and followed the naked Nakago.

"What went wrong?!?" Nakago shrieked.

"Ja ne na no daaaaa!" Chichiri chortled to himself as he poofed back to his normal form and took off for someplace more normal... like, say, Nerima.

Nakago put on another burst of speed, but unfortunatly for him (and fortunately for the fangirls {and a few fanboys}) a root sprang up before him, and he tripped.

"NAKAGO-SAMA! HE'S MINE" All the fangirls (and a few fanboys) dove for Nakago, ending with him trapped inside the resulting dustcloud as they fought over him.]


Meanwhile, back in the Ningenkai...

Jinpachi ran full-force up the stairs in Issei Nishikyori's house.

"ISSSEEEEEIIIII!!!!" He screamed, "I NEED TO TALK TO YOU!!!"

"Could you keep it down?" Issei's mother called up the stairs. Jinpachi froze in mid-step,

"Sorry Mrs. Nishikyori! I won't do it again!"

"Yeah right..." The older woman muttered under her breath. "I'll brin up milk and cookies for you two in a few minutes okay?"

"YEAH! Cookies!!! That'd be GREAT!"

(Well, it's not like his presence is unannounced...)

"You just go on upstairs, okay, Jinpachi?"

"THANKS!!!" Jinpahi took another flying leap up the stairs. And missed. "OUUUUUCCCHHH!!!"

"Jinpachi?" Issei burst out of his room to see the orange-haired boy clutching his knee at the top of the steps. "Are... are you okay?!"

"Yes...."

(Owwww..... says Harukami as she coincidentally bangs her leg up at the same time...)

(Hotaru sighs. You okay?)

(Don't worry, I've got 9 other toes. I don't need all ten. ..................... uh............. I think my brief possession of the Hikari no Ken got rid of a lot of my brain cells...)

(Great. You, Gourry, and Jinpachi can all celebrate together. I have a fanfic scene to write, 'kay? That aside...)

"Jinpachi," Issei asked worridly as he helped him up, "What's so important that has you running over here like this?"

"Issei..."

"Yes?"

"I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU!!!!!!!"

Issei backed away as he was nearly defeaned by Jinpachi. "I... I'm glad, Jinpachi, but..."

"I have to tell you this RIGHT NOW!!!"

Two ears, bright red, poked out from Issei's room, unnoticed by Issei and Jinpachi...

"But Jinpachi, I have guests."

The two ears twitched.

"BUT IT'S REALLLY IMPORTANT!"

"Okay.... well, go ahead, then." Issei backed off a little more, embarrassed.

"I need to tell you... chibi chibi chibi CHIBI chibi!"

Issei shook his head. "What?"

"Uh... sorry, in need of translation here..."

Two figures lept out of Issei's room and began jumping on Jinpachi's stomach. "YOU IDIOT!!! We didn't come all this way to not hear you say it!!!"

"Say what?" Issei asked, turning to the two fanfiction authors. The two girls blushed and hid. Hotaru began whistling from the corner...

("Hotaru ko~~~~~i, Ko~~~~~~~i....")

Miaka and Yui appeared at the same moment to join in the chorus.

("GET OUT OF HERE!" Harukami shouted, giving 'the boot' to both of the mikos.)

Both SD and punch through the roof. "AIYA!!!!!"

(Think Nyan-Nyan, folks)

"CAN YOU TWO JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE HERE?!" Jinpachi shouted at the fanfic authors.

"Well, excuuuuuusse us!" Hotaru and Harukami pouted. "We worked hard to see this, you know!"

"It's sort of a personal moment..." Jinpachi whispered.

"FINE." Harukami and Hotaru walked dejectedly away.

"WAIT!"

"Now what?"

"Well... I don't really want you here... but I am grateful... you know, if you just happened to be invisible or something and sat in the corner.... well, I really wouldn't know you're there, right...?"

"JINPACHI," Hotaru said, patting him on the back, "I like the way you think. When you think." and then there was a distinctive 'Doink' sound and the two fanfic authors vanished. (From sight!)

(though if Jinpachi listened really hard he could hear Harukami in hysterics saying 'doink' over and over again and the sound of a baseball bat smashing into her skull)

"So, uh, Issei, I sorta need to ask you... uh, ok, this isn't as easy as I thought it would be..."

"Jinpachi," Issei said, sipping the cappucino he had managed to make without Jinpachi noticing while Jinpachi had spent ten minutes arguing with his guests... "Please, just tell me."

"Uh... well... can I have a cappuchino too?"

"NO! JUST TELL ME ALREADY!!!"

"So, um," Jinpachi put his hand behind his head. "So, uh, you remember back on the roof?"

Issei went beet red. "Uh... I've put it out of my mind already, I wouldn'tworryaboutitdon'tbringitupplease..."

(Hotaru sits, munching on her sugar doughnut in the corner.)

(SUGAR DOUGHNUTS! Munch!!! LUNCH!)

(Shhh! We're finally getting to the good part...)

Both Hotaru and Harukami sit back down, munch mindlessly on sugar doughnuts, and stare with big, wobbly eyes, at Issei and Jinpachi.

"Oh..." Jinpachi cast his eyes down unhappily. "If you feel that way, never mind." He began to turn to go.

Issei caught his shoulder. "WAIT! What were you going to tell me?"

(munch munch munch)

"It's not really important... never mind, I should go now."

"noyoudon'tunderstand!" Issei blurted out. "I... uh... so what were you going to tell me?"

"Well..."

"Uh..."

"So..."

The two just stood there and stared at each other.

"Issei-chan, Jinpachi-kun, I brought cookies!"

Jinpachi spun, and grabbed the woman's shoulders, making her drop the cookies. "NOT NOW!"

Mrs. Nishikyori blinked. "Jinpachi-kun!"

"Jinpachi, that's my MOTHER!"

"Uh...yeah... sorry."

(Hotaru leaned over to Harukami. "So, they ever going to get to it?"

(Harukami shrugged. "Just munch, Taru, just munch.")

("Right, Ruka-papa. Munch")

Mrs. Nishikyori helped the two boys pick up the cookies, then went off, mumbling something about that weird friend of Issei-chan's.

"So, uh..." Issei trailed off.

"Yeah..." Jinpachi blushed.

("He's blushing! he's blushing!")

("SHH!")

"You were going to tell me..."

"ISSEI, I LOVE YOU!" Jinpachi screamed out.

(BLUSH)


Way off, the entire PSME cast turns as they are empathically blasted with shock, etc. "What was that?" Mokuren asked.

"Let's check," Rin suggested, to please her.

"Haru, was that you?" Mr. Tamura asked.

"No," The younger boy said, bemused.

Mikuro clutched at his head. "Woah... you know, I think we should get over there.


Issei's cappucino fell to the floor and shattered. "You what?!?"

(five pairs of ears poked out of Issei's room, eavesdropping)

"I... uh, oh never mind."

(Five PSME characters simultaneously elbow-drop on Jinpachi, all looking rather... irked. However, once Jinpachi hit the floor, they rushed back into Issei's room, whistling.)

("Hotaru Ko~~~~~~iiiiii, Ko~~~~~~~iiiii," Hotaru joined in.

(I think we overused that FY joke. Let's..... ok. ok, it's ok... let's just watch the show.)

(Wow, Ruka-popa's head really DOES make a hollow sound when you hit it, just like Michi-momma said....)

(SHE SAID WHAT??!? You're joking, right, Taru-chan?)

(Hotaru ko~~~~iiiii.... koiiiiii...)

"NO NO WAIT WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?" Issei picked up Jinpachi. "Just tell me please!"

(A seventh ear joined them, and they turned to look and Mrs. Nishikyori. "Do you know how long I've been waiting to hear something like this?" she said simply)

"I...uh... I... uh... ................." Jinpachi received encouragement in the form of two invisable punches to his solar plexus. "UH!! I um... love you?"

Issei blinked at him and broke into tears.


In the Makai, where a great many characters had been kidnapped and forced to stay...

Sakura paced left, then right, then left again, still in full Shogun garb.

"Alright, troops," she said to the assembled masses. Gourry was tied up along with Kuwabara to the nearest tree. Amelia was being elbow-dropped by Zel. Lina was fighting with Usagi in a 'who could eat the most' contest. Nuriko was busy swooning over Hotohori, whom he had convinced Sakura to bring along. Hiei was busy setting up a fire with Yuusuke, Kurama, and a Kokoryuu Ha, so that the three of them could enjoy roasted pig later in the evening. Ryoga was gagged, and hanging from his feet in the tree nearest the fire, doing his best to yell something every time Hiei would glare over at him, mouthing the word 'Lunch.' Chibi Chibi was running around the area, and Nabiki was doing her best to babysit. (Haruka, Michiru, and Usagi had offered her an extra 500 yen an hour each for the chore.) "I SAID, ALRIGHT, TROOPS!"

"YES MA'AM!" They all said as they did their best to line up.

"Today.... was a good day. A good fight. WE HAVE TRIUMPHED!!!" Sakura jutted her fist up in the air, "YEAHHHHH!!!" "CHIBI!!!!

"LUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNCHH!" Hiei cheered, raising his Katana.

"TODAY, WE CELEBRATE...... VICTORY!!!"

"And JUSTICE!" shouted Amelia.

"AND LUNCH!" shouted Hiei.

"AND TRUE LOVE!!!" Nuriko leaned over and hugged Hotohori, who sweatdropped and tried his best to back away.

"LET US CELEBRATE WITH FOOD! LET US EAT ROAST PIG!!!"

"MUMPHHLLAAHHAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!" Ryoga shouted from the tree.

"LET US CHEER!"

"Hurrah," they cheered half-heartedly.

"Yay...."

"Okay, fine then! Here's the GOOD NEWS!" Sakura shouted over the mumbles from the crowd. (And the munches from Hiei...) "YOU'RE ALL GOING HOME!!!"

"BREAK OUT THE CHAMPAGNE!!!" shouted Kurama.

"I WANT A BONUS!" shouted Nabiki

"LUNCH!" shouted Hiei

"CHIBI chIbi CHIBI!!!"

"VICTORY!!!"

"DIE, AMELIA, DIE!"

(THE FANFIC AUTHORS CHEER, CHEER, then CHEER SOME MORE!!! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!)

"ZELLY!" screamed Gourry, having dislodged his gag.

"HAIL THE CONQUERING HEEROS!!!! DADAAAADAADADADAAAA!!!"

Then, all in unison: "LET'S P-A-R-T-Y!!!"

An Hour Later:

Bits of broken crepe paper floated across the ground, balloon scraps fell in tiny piles, and broken champagne glasses abounded. There was silence on the battlefield of the Makai, except for the quiet sigh of relief from a Shogun-suited woman.

"That's THAT." She leaned back and stretched out.

"Sakura?" A voice came from the dark.

"Issei?" The black-haired boy emerged from the bushes, hand in hand with Ogura Jinpachi.

"We came to say thank you..." Jinpachi blushed.

"Well, it was no problem. But we had some help."

Jinpachi looked confused. "From who?"

"FROM US!!!" Two disembodied voices shouted from the sky, "OR HAVE YOU ALREADY FORGOTTEN ABOUT US, OGURA JINPACHI?!"

"AHHHHH!" Jinpachi shrieked as he hid behind Issei who laughed nervously.

"Thanks to both of you. I hope this wasn't too much trouble..."

It was Sakura, Harukami, and Hotaru's turn to laugh nervously. "No trouble at all...."

A whistling noise was heard as an object hurdled towards them from the sky at Mach 4. It slowed before it hit them to reveal a blue-haired girl sitting on an oar. "Ya-ho!' She greeted them cheerfully.

"Who are you?" Sakura asked.

"I'm Botan... you might say I'm Death. I want you to be a Rei-kai Tantei, Shusuran-san!"

"YOU WHAT?!?"

THE END --- for now.

(VICTORY~~~!!!!)


END NOTES:
Ryoga: The eternally lost boy from Ranma 1/2. Turns into a pig when he's hit with cold water, and into a human when hit with warm.
Furinkan High: The high school his worst enemy/best friend Ranma goes to. Ryoga is always trying to meet Ranma there to fight him for various reasons, but can never find it.
Jinpachi/Gyokuran: The dense and uncontrolled ESPer from Please Save My Earth.
Reikai Tantei: Spirit World Detective
Hiei: Fire demon who is a Reikai Tantei from Yu Yu Hakusho. No reason for his lunch obsession other than the authors were hungry...
Kurama: Fox demon reborn as human, also a Reikai Tantei from Yu Yu Hakusho.
Kuwabara: Idiotic human Reikai Tantei.
Urameshi Yusuke: The main character from Yu Yu Hakusho.
Rei Ken: Spirit Sword, Kuwabara's weapon.
Rei Gun: Yusuke's main weapon, the Spirit Gun.
Makai: The demon world.
Issei/Enju: Er. Um. The empath woman Enju reborn as ordinary schoolboy Issei. In love with Jinpachi. Duh.
Beating up at school: Rin sent some thugs out to get them; one of them looked a lot like Kuwabara.
SD: Superdeformed, a characature.
CLAMP: A group of four female manga artists.
Meiou High: Kurama's high school, where he is constantly chased by hoards of fangirls.
Kyaaaa: Sound of panicky screaming.
Nan Da To: What?!?
Yukina: Kuwabara's girlfriend and Hiei's little sister.
Keiko: Yusuke's girlfriend.
Bakasai Tenkentsu: Ryoga's attack using the breaking point inherant in every non-warmblooded thing.
Ningen: Human
Chuu: Drunk demon fighter from Yu Yu Hakusho.
Shayla-shayla: 18-year-old drunken fire priestess from El-Hazard.
Mr. Fujisawa: Drunken Teacher from El-Hazard.
Kirin: This prince guy obsessed with pickles from the Ranma 1/2 movie.
Blondie with red bow: Minako/Sailor Venus. Can't cook to save her life.
Nakago: Blond general of Kutou country with niftykeen armour. The bad guy from Fushigi Yuugi.
Shogun: General.
Chibi: Little.
The SD Shogun: Directly taken from a scene from FY. The good guy monk Chichiri can disguise himself as anything, but has a tendancy to SD at the drop of a hat.
Silence Glaive: Hotaru/Sailor Saturn from Sailor Moon's main weapon. Big hunking blade thingy. Niftykeen.
the head: For some reason, that particular author despises having her head touched. ^_^
Shusuran/Sakura: Issei's best friend, also a reborn ESPer.
Green-hair and red eyes: Setsuna/Sailor Pluto, the Soldier of Time. She can time travel. Yeah.
People in the inn: The main cast of Slayers. Lina and Gourry eat a lot, Amelia rants about justice, and Zelgadis tries to make himself stop looking like a blue-skinned rock.
Copy Rezo/Rezo the Red Priest: Rezo was the baddie in the 1st half of the 1st season, then a 'copy' (clone) was made whom they had to fight the 2nd half. This has become a running gag among most fanfiction authors.
luscious green country: CLAMP's Cefiro. Bunny thing: Mokona, the marshmallow-like creator of Cefiro. Says one word: Puu. Don't ask me.
Crowd of fangirls and a few fanboys: Self-explanatory.
Nuriko: FY's crossdresser in love with the emperor, Hotohori.
Chichiri: Hotaru's favourite character.
Nabiki: Money-grubbing Ranma 1/2 character.
Usagi: Sailor Moon. Yeah. ^_^
Chibi-Chibi: The little girl who shows up in the LAST season (not 'Reeny'). Can say basically one word: Chibi.
Michiru: Sailor Neptune, Haruka's GF.
Haruka: Sailor Uranus, Michiru's GF. Hits on Usagi a lot.
itooshii: beloved.
mecha: Big honkin' robot. In this case, it's Shenlong, nicknamed "Nataku", from Gundam Wing.
Wufei: Shenlong's pilot. Unfortunately afflicted with a bad case of being slashed with pretty much every other character, a common ailment among Gundam Wing characters.
Smile Explosion: Yu Yu Hakusho's opening theme.
Hikari no Ken: The sword of Light, and one of the most powerful items in the Slayers Universe. Lina wants it.
no da/na no da: Things Chichiri ends his sentance with for no readily apparant reason.
Ja ne: See you!
Nerima: The part of Tokyo the Ranma characters come from, not normal in any sense of the word.
Hotaru Ko-i-i-i-i-i: "Come to me, Firefly," the song sung by Miaka when she almost gave away that she knew Hotohori and had to cover it up quickly. Way overused in this fic, in Harukami's opinion.
Yui and Miaka: The two priestesses from FY.
Shouting: Something Jinpachi does whenever he gets excited.
Botan: The spirit guide of the dead from Yu Yu. Assigns Reikai Tantei. Doink: The nickname of Hotaru's other character, so named because sometimes as her spells go off, they make a distinctive 'Doink' sound.

Back! Back I say!!!