It's that time again, folks! Yes, the time of year when snow blankets more than just Eastern Canada and innocent children sing with joy and scream like rabid weasils in heat every time they see a toy adverisment.
Ah, Holiday Season.
"N-chan," you may be saying, "The holidays really get me down. All this commericalism! And it's always the same, year after year after year. I need to spice it up a little!" Well, stop whining. First of all, quit bitching about how commerical Xmas is. You want presents, don't you?! Exactly. So shut up. Secondly, I anticipated this seasonal boredom and so have come up with a wonderful way to celebrate the holidays: do it Dir en grey style.
That's right! They DO have Christmas in Japan! Granted it's not religious or anything and they dress up Colonel Sanders as Santa... but whatever. And what's more Japanese than J-Rock? And what's more J-Rockin' than Dir en grey? That's right, FRIGGIN NOBODY! (Don't argue with me on this or I will be forced to break your face.)
So here are some suggestions to make sure your holiday season is a Deggy one:
1: Rename your Xmas dinner. Why serve boring old turkey and mashed potatoes (or ham or roast or some damn thing for the yankees) when you cna have a FILTH-themed meal? Start with "soup of sexual desire" and move onto kidney with sweet curry and some liver in orange juice. YUMMY! Don't forget dessert... rotting strawberries and maybe some "decadent mazohyst chocolate cake."
2: Decorate your Xmas cookies with little anarchy sybols. Those damn punkers you know will love them!
3: Get your (cute) guy friends to dress up like Shinya and Toshiya and chase them obsessively with misteltoe while [KR] Cube repeatedly plays on the stereo.
4: Vist Santa. When he asks you what you want for Xmas, start foaming blood.
And of course, 5: Go caroling Imagine the joyful expressions you'll inspire when you sing Deg Xmas songs! "Deck the halls with boughs of holly... BLOOD EARTH LIE SKY! Tis the season to be jolly! BODY GOD BOX BEAST!"
May all your christmases be dead born.
"What are you, some kind of punker? I hate punkers."