Apparantly, people actually read my livejournal. Even more shocking is that NICE people read it. A wonderful creature named Diibish read my ranting about how I wanted the Malice Mizer "Beast of Blood" video and offered to send me a copy. So I was proved wrong once again... not everyone in the world is a scum-sucking maggot. Thanks Diibish!

After getting the file, I turned on my handy-dandy media player and hit PLAY. There was no sound, so I freaked out until I realised I just hadn't turned my speakers on. Oh. Well. I then watched the video several times, giggling madly with glee.

Because I really have nothing better to do in the middle of the night, I will now tell you aaaaall about "Beast of Blood."

The video starts with blood dripping onto a pristine white surface. Some out-of-focus black shapes then get up from what I assume is the floor, kinda writhing. Blood again, and we see it's in a mirror. The words "Malice Mizer" appear magically on screen, causing me to squirm excitedly. We then see Mana, Yu~ki and Kozi standing around this mirror, waiting for... Judgement Day? Who knows. Everything but that bloody mirror is in black and white, by the way. Very stark and cold-looking, which made me crave a popsicle.

Heeeey, you're thinking by this point. Who's singing? There's nobody sing--AHH! Malice Mizer's new singer Klaha materialises out of NoWhere, then fades away as the guitars kick in. The other band members approach the screen, looking very moody. Klaha fades in again to show us his spooky face.

The mirror breaks, in black and white now, and 'Beast of Blood' flashes on the screen. I guess they really wanted us to know what we were watching.

Weird fuzzing shots of the band! Klaha looks pretty snazzy and Mana looks well, bored as usual. During all this fun photography stuff I am damn near certain I saw a balloon. Or maybe I'm doing too much crack again.

The band then stands against this entirely white background in their nice black clothes playing classical instruments. Mana gets the violin, so he can twirl his skirts around I presume. At this point you realise that this video actually had a decent budget and will thankfully NOT be another 'Illuminati' despite the vampire theme here.

Suddenly this little kid dressed all in white steps out from this black space with some sort of... whacking stick. I think it's supposed to be a cane or a walking stick, actually, but 'whacking' is more fun on SO many levels. This kid wears about as much makeup as I do, and shows us he can do a pretty swell scary face. More shots of the band playing classic instruments and Klaha singing, then more of that weird little boy, this time licking his lips. He looks a lot like the goth version of Richie Rich.

Random blood splatter!

Then, TECHNICOLOUR!! A checkerboard floor and red curtain... not much for backgrounds but hey, at least there's nobody getting their heads cut off and molested. These little twin girls are standing there holding hands and looking all goffic in their black dresses and veils. I was starting to think I was watching 'Interview' or something...

The girls bugger off so the band can play in FULL COLOUR and with their regular instruments. As Klaha danced around and those twins sat and watched him, I realised that the coat he's wearing is really very nice and I want one.

Some blood runs backwards up the checkerboard floor, and the band moves in that jerk stop-mation way for a bit. We are then treated to close-ups of all the band members so we can fully appreciate their swell makeup. Yu~ki is smoking a bitch-cigarette for some reason.

That blood finishes running backwards and we see it's coming from one of those twins, who is now laying prone on the floor. The other little girl smiles in a very evil manner. Holy shit, she ate her sister! Cut back to creepy-boy, who's freaking out, in black and white.

The mirror returns and this white plaster head falls into some black goo. Mmm... gooo.

Creepy-boy lip-synchs angrilly and then BAM! Klaha. And this is where I soiled myself because in that ONE shot he looks just like my little sister's boyfriend! Don't believe me? You can compare:

Klaha.

Joel.

SEE?! It's creepy! And has nothing to do with anything really, but it weirded me out and made me yell at the computer.

Mana admires himself in a pool of dark liquid. Checking his eyeliner maybe. The plaster head returns, and then so does creepy boy. Blood splatters like crazy and the video goes back to colour. The band gets down, and Klaha proves he can be dramatic without looking as dorky as Gackt. He also looks mighty fine in makeup.

Then AAAAGHHH! That little girl (not the dead one) lifts her veil and her eyes go all buggy and weird. It's shit like THAT that turned me off babysitting, man.

Each band member then walks down the checkerboard hallway. Yu~ki has this whole bitch-fashion-designer attitude going on. Mana inexplicably has an open umbrella. I do not understand WHAT umbrellas have to do with vampires or 'the beast within' but whatever.

An assload of red liquid that is probably NOT meant to be Clamato juice rolls toward the camera. In black and white oce more, each band member... falls over. In colour again we see their bodies just laying there, cluttering up the hall. Jeez! What nerve! And Richie Rich walks off. End video.

Honestly, this was a cool video for a wicked song and I enjoyed it immensely, despite Joel suddenyl appearing as Klaha on my monitor. I forgive you for that, my near little bro. So if you have a way of getting your grubby little hands on this somehow, I suggest you do. Yay. No go home.