Remember waaay back when it was announced that Malice Mizer would be breaking up? Remember how yours truly said that "Malice Mizer will never truly die so long as Mana is still alive, kinda like hwo NIN will exist as long as Trent Reznor does"? Well, anyone who doubted me can suck an egg because, as usual, I was right.
Unless you've had your head shoved up the unmentionable areas of a donkey, you know that after Malice Mizer split Mana went on to form Moi Dix Moi while Kozi landed on the Cleopatra label (how uber goff, Kozi) and Yu~ki became a transexxual stripper in Las Vegas. Now, Moi Dix Moi is not only terrible French, but also kinda old news. Yes, here at the Flannel I do try to keep on top of JRock news but sadly I sometimes get distracted by shiny objects. Also, I could not find any of the friggin music anywhere I looked. Thanks go out to Scin Dayrok for taking pity on me and sending me mp3s.
So. I finally heard Moi Dix Moi. And you know what....? It's Malice Mizer. Seriously, get someone who's not into JRock to try and tell MDM apart from MM. Can't do it, unless you picked a MM track where Tetsu was the vocalist... *shudder* So, as has been previously stated, Mana IS Malice Mizer. He just renamed it... but notice how he keeps using M words? I think it's an ego thing.
Mana: Okay bitches, the new band has to sound French and have Ms. Because M stands for MANA. And who's your queen?
Current Bandmembers: You, Mana-Sama.
Mana: Damn straight!
Something else was brought to my attention... apparantly there's a rumour going around that the vocalist and basist of MDM, Juka and Kazuno, are actually Kaya and Hora from Schwarz Stein, which is a band that Mana produces. Since I am the undisputed overlord of all JRock I'd like to settle this matter once and for all.
The rumour is false. They are not the same people... quite. After all, Schwarz Stein and Moi Dix Moi played together and they were too close in time to allow for the changes in costume and makeup. So the truth is...
Juka and Kazuno are clones.
It's a well-known fact that Mana is an force to be reckoned with. He hasn't attained the virtual deity status of his former band-mate Gackt, but he's still got spooky power. So naturally when he found new bitches to produce he decided that rather than go out and find other humans who might potentially disagree with his artistic vision he instead had Juka and Kazuno cloned from Kaya and Hora's DNA. (Yes, yes, I know you were told the Raliens made the firts human clone but that's a big lie. We all know Japan is the first to do anything nowadays. Jeebus, look at their cellphones. We're only JUST getting tetris and shit on ours over here. In Japan a cellphone doubles as a fax machine, video arcade, and can even check your blood sugar level.)
Due to the state of clonign technology, Juka and Kazuno are of course somewhat retarded. But that suits Mana just fine as they are therefore easier to control. Pretty soon he'll be comanding an ARMY of pretty-boy cross-dressing rockers. Together they will storm Gackt's citadel and there will be a climactic showdown between the Gothic Lolita and the Bizarre Alien Man.
Watch for it. Hell, I'm never wrong.