I sat down to write an article not long ago, but sadly I passed out on the keyboard and have only just woken up. There was a scary note reading "We've implanted the bomb. Kisses! -Izam" tacked to my forehead and all my nails were painted pink. So I didn't finish the article.
At any rate, the lovely and talented MetalFaerie was kind enough to grace us with the following article. MetalFaerie has contributed to the site often enough to warrant her own bio on the underwear page, don't you think? You can send feedback to her at firstname.lastname@example.org
Episode II: Attack of the Kyos
In this CRAZY world we call "Jrock" we are often convinced that we know who's WHO. But often enough, we usually mistake other famous figures for our super duper most favoritest Jrockers. Let's take a look, for example, at Shinya:
A common, and maybe even honest mistake- both have the devious look of evil in their eyes, bulging, twitching vein in their foreheads and just plain SCARY! But fear not, I, as your friend, will help you distinguish the real Jrockers from their mistaken counterparts (or something). In this article, we focus on our favorite natural blonde (who recently dyed his hair a really FAKE shade of brown)- Kyo.
"Why that's just plain silly! What other famous figures would be mistaken for Kyo?" you may ask. Believe it or not there are quite a HANDFUL.
Quite often, the Icelandic stunt queen, Bjork is mistaken for the noted pop singer. Some say it's the similar "pixie" features. Some say it's their habitual gibberish.
Round-headed Squee is often mistaken for round-headed Kyo. The only way to distinguish the two, some say, is to see if one of them is toting around a mangled teddy bear.
In general, round-headed comic strip characters are mistaken for Kyo as often as ants invading your picnics.
Even when Dir en grey's single "Jessica" was released, most wondered if the band had, indeed replaced Kyo with Dennis the Menace. "I mean, where was his slingshot?" a witness had asked. "I was expecting him to yell, 'OH MISTER WILSON!'"
Strangely, most of the figures mistaken for Kyo are blonde (and round-headed). So the question remains: Is Kyo simply imitating these characters, or are the characters imitating Kyo?
Unfortunately, this is just the tip of the iceberg. Even beings not of this world are mistaken for the barely legal part-time stripper.
So I leave you, in the hopes of having peace of mind knowing that someone isn't trying to pitch a baseball at Kyo in the hopes that his clothes will come off like Charlie Brown's.