Well boys and girls... it finally happened. I am on my way to the land of J-Rock itself! On August 20th I will be flying out to Tokyo for a fun-filled ten days of adveNture. While there I hope to stock up on goodies and with some luck see at least ONE live visual kei show... even if it's a shitty one.

Since I've been busy getting ready for the trip (packing underwear and Izam-repellant) I haven't had time to mock anything lately, a fact that has earned me many rotten tomatoes in the face. Luckily there are people out there willing to pick up my slack. My daaaaarling pal Metal Faerie has composed the following quiz that tests the knowledge of Dir en grey fans everywhere! So without further ado, I present the DEG POP QUIZ!

Let's see how MUCH you know about America's favorite pop group!! Ready? Ok...now take out your #2 pencils and let's begin!

1. Dir en grey are from what country?

a) Iceland
b) Canada
c) United States
d) Spain
e) Albania

2. Everyone in Dir en grey, except Toshiya, was in what 80s hair band before becoming Dir en grey?

a) Flock of Seagulls
b) Missing Persons
c) Devo
d) The Jets
e) Loverboy

3. Kyo's apparent real name is:

a) Gavin
b) Ian
c) Todd
d) Brian
e) Darril

4. The band's latest DVD release of music video collections is titled:

a) Same Guys, Different Dresses
b) And All that Could Have Been
c) Nautical Nonsense and Spongebuddies
d) Powerpuff Bluff
e) Kisou me, Baby

5. What is Dir en grey's connection with Nine Inch Nails?

a) Trent produced their first MAJOR label release - GAUZE
b) Toshiya acted as temporary bassist while Danny recovered from injuries resulting from re-enacting something he saw on Jackass
c) They're on the nothing label
d) They toured with Marilyn Manson
e) Kaoru did a phat remix of "Sanctified"

6. What's so disturbing about the Raison D'etre video?

a) Kyo's teeth
b) Toshiya's "princess" outfit
c) Kyo's dancing
d) The inability of the band to convince the viewers that they're REALLY turned on by the chick
e) Shinya

7. Kyo models for what line of clothing?

a) Gap Kids
b) Gymboree
c) OshKosh
d) Victoria's Secret
e) Moi Memme Moitie

8. Die is considered the _?_ of the band.

a) financial supporter
b) moral supporter
c) quiet, reserved one
d) moocher
e) asshole

9. How did Kaoru become the "leader" of Dir en grey?

a) He threatened the others with his patented "spooky doom" gaze
b) Required role from becoming Playmate of the month
c) Consolation prize from a baking contest
d) He applied for the position in a job application
e) His name was drawn out of a hat

10. Shinya's remix (or manipulation) of "Ain't Afraid to Die" is called:

a) (version)
b) part II
c) Shinya
d) OWN yo' ass mix
e) radio edit

11. Toshiya wrote which of the following songs?

a) Riyuu (version)
b) Au Revoir
c) Just Like Heaven
d) Closer
e) Manic Monday

12. Kyo is known to be a(n):

a) natural blonde
b) compulsive hand-washer
c) bulemic
d) Peabody Music Conservatory prodigy
e) underaged stripper

13. If Kaoru hadn't become the big-shot he was today, what would he be doing?

a) cast member of Jackass
b) form a comedy troupe ala Kids in the Hall
c) cartoonist
d) yoga teacher
e) choreographer for teen pop groups

14. What scenes had to be edited from the final cut of the "Garden" vid?

a) Some guy catching a long one in the background
b) A family picnic
c) A panty-shot of Toshiya
d) Kaoru smiling
e) Die's improperly disposed beer cans

15. The 'squiggly' primitive designs on the Macabre album were inspired by:

a) lava lamps
b) Toshiya sniffing his hairspray
c) The Flintstones
d) Sea Monkeys
e) wads of gum under the table

16. Die is short - and possibly a word-letter play thing- for what name?

a) Diane
b) Darril
c) Dido
d) Diablo
e) Dye

17. The band's album of remixes (or manipulations) is titled:

a) Now that's what I call REMIXES!
b) Versions
c) Further Down the Macabre
d) Fixed
e) Get ur Freak On

18. What is the "Deadly Claris"?

a) It's equivalent to the Force
b) Just some gibberish nonsense
c) The OTHER Dir en grey
d) Kyo's ebay password
e) Shinya's westernized name

19. Why did the band decide to print English lyrics in the main liner notes of Kisou?

a) It was by accident. Later, after realizing that mistake, they threw in the Japanese lyrics and decided to stuff them in that hard-to-reach part of the CD case to make it "appear" that it was intended.
b) It was a hard choice between that, Greek, Spanish, or Heiroglyphics.
c) To expand karaoke fun
d) So the western fans know where those rotten strawberries were in "Filth"
e) Because Kaoru said so

20. In the "Jessica" single, why was it decided to put 'deadly logical vox' instead of 'vocals' next to Kyo's name?

a) because the 'vocals' term is just redundant
b) because it was 'deadly' and 'logical'
c) it makes Kyo feel taller
d) it's really a new instrument that -sounds- exactly like Kyo's voice
e) because Kaoru said so

Part II ESSAY QUESTION.

What's your favorite Dir en grey song, and why? (note: NOT your favorite member, any mention of any band member will result in an automatic deduction of 20 points, including a parking ticket whether you drive or not.)

Part III Analogy

1. peanut : butter
Kyo : __

a) Invader Zim
b) jelly
c) yellow
d) peach
e) button

2. What is the significance of fans knowing what brand of cologne (or perfume) each band member likes to wear?

a) To prove that they can smell good too.
b) Rite of passage
c) To easily search them out with guard dogs
d) To let the fans know what the REAL source of the band's song-writing inspiration is.
e) all of the above

3. Shinya and Toshiya are considered the _?_ of Dir en grey.

a) Almighty Tallest
b) bitches
c) girls
d) guidance counselors
e) receptionists

4. In the Macabre dvd, which of the following is a bonus feature?

a) Footage of Kaoru paying his monthly bills
b) Stills of the above feature
c) Option to switch angle to Kyo's point of view.
d) Drunken conversation with Die
e) EXTREME closeup of Toshiya flossing his teeth

5. According to Shinya, how does he maintain his manly physique?

a) He stays on a strict diet which includes one baby a month.
b) Thighmaster
c) Hired Callista Flockheart as his personal trainer
d) Injects all body fat into his lips
e) All of the above

Part IV MATHEMATICS

If Die drinks an average of 10 six-packs of beer a day at approximately 5 cans per hour while Toshiya pulls on Shinya's hair with about 70 lbs of torque (with Shinya screaming at a decible of about 32974 Hz), how long would it take for Kaoru to demand that Kyo wake up at exactly 7:30 am?

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I of course scored 100%