Ai no Kusabi's Instructions on How Not to be Seen

another nutty production by that nutjob Harukami.

The author does not own the rights to Ai no Kusabi nor Monty Python and is in fact too young to legally OWN AnK. So don't sue her. She's too young for a lawsuit, too. ^_^


Following the disaster where the gang Bison was indeed seen, they were more than pleased to sponser Jupiter Industries in the Blondie Instruction Manual on How Not to be Seen.

[Scene: An empty street with a single parked hovercar in it]

In this scene is hidden Guy, a mongrel from Ceres. As you can tell, he cannot be seen. Guy, will you please stand up?

[Guy stands and is suddenly blown up in a traditionally AnK display of gore.]

Thank you, Guy. You can see here the first lesson of not being seen -- do not stand up.


[Scene: an empty street with a single parked hovercar in it]

In this scene is hidden Katze, a furniture and master of the black market. As you can tell, he cannot be seen. Katze, will you please stand up?

[Nothing happens]

Katze has learned the first important lesson of not standing up. After years of working the black market, this is to be expected. Unfortunately, he trusted a little too much in the protection of his connections and his Blondie master and chose an extremely obvious place to hide.

[The hovercar blows up and a scream is heard]


[Scene: An empty street with three parked hovercars in it]

In this scene is hidden the Blondie Raoul who is rumoured to have aided and abetted the Blondie Iason in breaking Tangura's rules. As you can tell, he cannot be seen.

We are confronted with a difficulty brought on by his natural intelligence as a Blondie. Raoul could be hidden behind any one of the three hovercars. Fortunately, it is simple to find out which.

[Car on the left blows up.]

[Car on the right blows up.]

[Car in the middle blows up and a scream is heard.]

Ah, yes. He was behind the middle one.


[Scene: An extremely expensive apartment building]

The rogue Blondie Iason found a very effective way not to be seen: He put on a flase name, took his pet Riki, and moved to a new apartment building. Fortunately, Helpful Citizen Killie was able to tell us where he'd gone.

[Building blows up and many screams are heard.]


[Scene: Riki in an empty street, looking extremely uncomfortable.]

And this is Iason's pet.

[Riki blows up in a display of gore.]


[Scene: A different extremely expensive apartment building]

And this is the building where they used to live.

[Building blows up and many screams are heard.]


[Scene: an empty street with a single parked hovercar in it.]

And this is a hovercar Iason once drove.

[Hovercar blows up]


[Scene: the group Bison, milling around uneasily]

And this is the gang the pet used to run with, who also sponsered us. Who cares? We're Blondies.

[Bison's members all blow up in displays of gore]


[Scene: Killie, smiling smugly and wearing something pink]

And this is Helpful Citizen Killie

[Killie's eyes widen, he screams, and then blows up in a display of gore]


[Scene: Dana Bahn]

And this is....

[Fade to Black]

End notes: I dunno, I think I actually captured the feeling of the series pretty well. WAIT! Nope, not enough sex. *grins* Email the author at harukami@magicalgirls.net. Flames are welcome because I can trace them and find out where you live.

There are some who say wizards and witches can never really go home...