Author's note: Hiya Hiya! It's your friendly neighbourhood Harukami again! I'm back with a new one. I wrote it for school (snicker). I'd just like to say that I actually LIKE Soi, but I needed some female character to be the baddie, and Yui or Miaka wouldn't do. Who's left? Anyways, if you like it, if you don't like it, or if you just want to discuss the 101 things you can do with a rose, email me here. Please!
Once upon a time, there lived a beautiful queen and a kindly king, who wished for a child more than anything. The king wanted a powerful, strong, manly son; the queen prayed nightly for a beautiful daughter with lips as red as blood, hair as purple as violets, and skin as white as snow. The passing Nyan- Nyan decided it would be "fun fun!" to grant both their wishes, and a son was born to them who was powerful, super-humanly strong, beautiful, with lips as red as blood, hair as purple as violets, and skin as white as snow. They named him Nuriko, after the constellation symbol on the right side of his chest.
The queen soon passed away from shock at having given birth to a son who was prettier than she was, and the king soon married again, hoping to gain another son more suitable to being heir. However, the new queen, Soi, hated Nuriko for being so beautiful and tried all she could to make his life miserable. To reassure herself of her own good looks, she would ask her magic mirror, "Mirror Mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?" And the mirror would answer that it was her.
The king also died, Soi having spent too much time in front of the mirror to replentish his chi, and Soi ruled alone. As the years passed, Nuriko grew more and more beautiful, and eventually, the mirror was forced to answer, "Well, you're good looking and all that, but Nuriko would have to be the finest."
Soi was horrified and broke the mirror, and sent one of her henchmen after Nuriko, who was out gathering firewood for the palace by means of punching the trees in half.
The henchman, Tasuki by name, followed Nuriko's trail of fallen trees until the other boy came into sight. He raised his tessen. "Lekka Shien!"
Nuriko dodged the spurt of flame, dropping his trees. "Eep!"
"I'm fucking sorry, but I'm here to fucking kill you."
Nuriko thought furiously. "If I run away, never to be seen again, will you pretend you killed me?"
"Hey, yeah," Tasuki replied. "That's a fucking cool idea." He walked away, whistling, and Nuriko ran off further into the woods.
He ran, and he ran, until nightfall came. He was hungry and tired, and he wanted to cry. Suddenly, he came upon a small cottage. I'll just stay there for now, he thought.
Nuriko knocked on the door and it swung open, revealing the messy interior. There were four beds, all very small, but Nuriko was so tired he curled up in a little ball and fell asleep anyway.
He woke to the sound of screaming.
"Kyaaaaaaaa! Kyaaaaa! There's a THING in my bed! Kyaaaaaaaaaaaaa!" said a high-pitched, squeaky voice.
Opening bleary eyes, he saw a blue-haired, SD girl kareening around the room so fast her legs blurred. Suddenly a black flame surrounded her, crisping the poor girl.
"Ara, that was a little overdone, ne?" asked a high-pitched, elegant voice.
"I think it was just enough," a male voice responded.
Nuriko looked around to find himself surrounded by seven SD people. "Who are you?" he asked, amazed.
A brown-braided SD boy stepped forward. "I'm the God of Death! Mwa ha ha... AAAAAHHH!" He staggered around the room, clutching at his nose, which another SD had punched.
"I'm Heero Yuy.," the one who had thrown the punch said emotionlessly. "He's Duo." He nudged the self-appointed God of Death.
"Waah!" SD Duo sighed. "Heero, you're mean!"
A little SD guy with long silver hair and a fox's ears and tail jumped up and down, tail swishing like an excited bush. "Ooh! Ooh! I'm Youko Kurama and that grumpy fire demon over there is Hiei." He ponted at an SD with his black hair sticking straight up, red eyes, and a ward across his forhead.
"Hn," SD Hiei snorted.
A beautiful, aqua-haired SD girl bowed. "Kaioh Michiru desu. This is my partner, Tenoh Haruka." She put her arm around a short-haired blond SD girl who was nudging the crisped SD with her foot.
The crisped SD let out a puff of smoke before getting to her feet and speaking. "I'm Umi. I'm the only normal one. The rest of them are all perverts.
SD Haruka casually snatched a curved sword out of thin air and thwached SD Umi with the flat.
"What are you doing in our house?" SD Heero asked Nuriko bluntly.
Nuriko got out of bed and bowed. "I'm very sorry to be a disturbance. My mother sent some men to kill me so I ran away, and I stopped here to rest."
"You must stay, then," SD Michiru said immediately. "We couldn't send you out with someone trying to kill you. Ne, guys?"
"Whatever you say," SD Haruka agreed.
"As long as it doesn't interfere with our mission," a stony SD Heero commented.
"Hee-eee-eee-ro, you might have broken my nose!"
"It'll be nice to have another cute guy around the place," SD Kurama said slyly, ears twitching.
SD Umi martched over to him. "That's a girl, you dimwit!"
"Um..." Nuriko said nervously. "Actually, I'm..."
"Ack!" SD Umi fell over. "Another one?!"
SD Michiru put a finger to her cheek. "But where will you sleep?"
SD Kurama grabbed SD Hiei and dove under the covers of one of the beds. "Occupied!"
"Ack!" SD Umi exclaimed again. "Perverts!"
SD Duo looked thoughfully at SD Heero and batted his eyes. SD Heero punched him again and sat on another bed, glaring at Nuriko.
"I guess that leaves Umi's bed for you, Nuriko-kun," SD Haruka told him. "Umi can sleep on the floor."
"Hey! Who says he gets..."
"Unless you'd like to share with Michiru and I?" SD Haruka smiled at SD Umi.
"Eek!" SD Umi shrieked, diving to the floor and trying to get comfortable on SD Duo's dirty laundry.
Nuriko soon became a regular fixture. The SDs all went out all day every day. SD Duo and Heero went to blow up OZ bases and fight giant mecha. SD Hiei and Kurama stole fabulous items in the demon world. SD Haruka and Michiru transformed to SD Sailor Uranus and Neptune and fought villains trying to take over the world, and SD Umi ran around the forest panicking a lot. Life went on as normal.
Until one day, Soi got the mirror fixed and asked it the question again. It replied, "You're a babe, Soi, but Nuriko who's living at the house of the seven SD people is even prettier.
Soi was angry and marched over there right away. Nuriko answered the door, saw who it was, and slammed it in her face. And so the first plot failed.
The seven SDs came home and told Nuriko never to open the door for Soi again.
The next day, Soi sent Tasuki after Nuriko again. They had a lovely cup of sake together, and then Tasuki ran away and joined a band of mountain bandits, and met a very nice boy named Koji, but that's another story. And so the second plot failed.
The seven SDs came home and warned Nuriko that the next henchman might not be as friendly as Tasuki.
Then Soi thought up a good plot. She plaited her hair back, put makeup on her body to look like cuts and bruises, and went to the house in the guise of a damsel in distress. Nuriko stepped out to help her and Soi smited him with lightning.
The seven SDs came home and found Nuriko's body, and they took it to the top of a nearby hill in the hopes someone could be found who could wake him.
It so happened that a few days later, a handsome emperor was riding by and caught sight of the beautiful comatose body. "Who is that?" he asked SD Hiei, stopping.
Unfortunately, Hiei wasn't the most vocal SD, so all the emperor got was a, "Hn. That's Nuriko."
The emperor drew closer to the body and was captivated. It was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen! He just had to... kiss...
Nuriko's eyes fluttered open and he saw the emperor. He swooned.
When he came to again, the emperor asked Nuriko to become his empress.
"Er, I'm a guy," Nuriko told him.
"Impossible!" the emperor exclaimed. "There is another man as beautiful as I?"
And so it was settled. The emperor had rescued Nuriko and he would marry him no matter what his advisors said, because this was a fairy tale after all.
The war ended and so SD Haruka, Michiru, Duo, and Heero no longer had to fight, and were able to attend the wedding. SD Hiei and Kurama became filthy rich and able to wear all kinds of fancy clothes to the wedding, but they didn't because why would they spend the money when they could hoard it? They all dragged SD Umi to the wedding as she yelled about perversion all the way.
And so everyone lived happily ever after, except Umi, who was mistaken by the Nyan-Nyan as one of their own, and had to serve an ugly hag forever after.
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